


Be Yourself

by StevetheIcecube



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (Basically they're happy bc I want the whole team together), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Autistic Peter, Bullying, Clint is a good dad, Deaf Clint Barton, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Homelessness, Nightmares, Not just angst, Optimistic Ending, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Sign Language, Team as Family, Trans Peter Parker, Transphobia, Will emphasise again that it has comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2018-12-08 06:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11640423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StevetheIcecube/pseuds/StevetheIcecube
Summary: Living a double life was hard, and Peter could never really be himself. After some very unfortunate circumstances lead to him living with the Avengers, he suddenly finds that he can be free and express himself and not hide his powers.





	1. Alone

He hadn’t meant to say those things. Oh, why was he so stupid? He shouldn’t have just assumed that Aunt May wasn’t in. He shouldn’t have left his door open, and fuck, he really shouldn’t have argued with her about everything that had been going on for the past few months.

It was just...she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand why he had to keep it a secret, or why he put himself in danger, or why he wanted to be Spiderman at all. She thought he should leave it to adults who knew what they were doing, but adults didn’t know much better than him, really. He had almost as much experience as some policemen. Sort of. Not really, but he could do some stuff and he felt like he’d proved himself.

He was a very strong person, so, naturally, he started crying during the argument, nearly broke down entirely, and once Aunt May left him alone, he decided he was too upset to face her for the next few days so he just packed a bag and left the apartment. Not one of his finest moments, but he knew he could survive. He hoped.

Just a few days was all he wanted. Three days, maybe. He’d miss some school, but in that moment he didn’t care. School already hated him, and he hated going to school. The environment was so restricting and he felt like he was in prison every day, just wanting to be out in the streets and free. Maybe he was trying to tell himself that the streets weren’t so great by taking a couple of days’ break from all the things he had to do.

‘Taking a break’. That was what he called it in his head, but he knew how everyone else saw it. He was running away. He had faced up to all kinds of things in the last few days, but he was running away because of a stupid argument with his aunt. That pretty much summed up his life. There were so many huge things, but it was always the little things that pushed him over the edge.

And the problem with being pushed over the edge was that he didn’t realise that once he fell off he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to pull himself up again. Because, about a week and a half after he’d initially planned going back, he was still sleeping rough.

He didn’t exactly know why he couldn’t go back, he just had a lot of reasons that made him so afraid that he didn’t want to. He knew that the longer he stayed away, the worse it got, but he couldn’t go back to Aunt May because she would be angry but she also would have been worried about him, and the longer he stayed away the more disappointed she would be by his actions.

The longer he stayed away from school, the more he missed. The more he missed, the more people would notice his absence, the more they would question him when he came back. The staff were already ‘deeply concerned’ about his behaviour and how he was ‘going off the rails’; going back now would probably mean being forced into some kind of therapy. Possibly being kicked out of the school. He would definitely get lots of detention and he would be grounded.

Also, Ned. He hadn’t seen Ned in two weeks now. He hadn’t seen anyone he actually knew for two weeks. His phone died less than two days in and he had no way to charge it because he didn’t have a charger with him even if he could find somewhere to plug it in. He didn’t want to go somewhere with lots of people in case he was recognised, and honestly he didn’t want to contact his friends anyway. They’d only try and get him to come back, and he didn’t want to let them down like that. He didn’t think he was going home for a while.

-

It was pretty cold out here at night in October, and maybe Peter should have thought about that one before he decided every second of the day not to just swallow his pride and go back to the apartment. Aunt May must be worried sick, but he just...couldn’t. Every time he thought about it he couldn’t get his limbs to even move.

He was alone, for now. The alleyway next to the coffee shop was pretty well-frequented by people who were sleeping rough, so it was honestly surprising that there was no one around. He hoped they hadn’t just been cleared out or something like that and he was about to get in trouble with the police. He got enough of that at night, when he could be Spiderman.

He let his eyes drift close in case he could get a short nap before it got really cold. It didn’t look like it was about to rain, which was great, and any danger (or rain) would wake him up immediately. His reflexes never slept. In fact, they’d been getting a lot more sensitive over the last few weeks, which was hardly surprising. Peter wasn’t sure if they actually needed to get better, though. More reaction honestly just felt like maybe his anxiety was getting worse and his super senses were just helping it.

He wasn’t sure how much later it was when someone laid an arm on his shoulder. He jumped to the side, instinctively twisting into a defensive stance. As his eyes focused, his heart sank and he moved to see if he could scale the wall to get away from the man standing in front of him.

Captain America. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel this needs an explanation! When I started I had no idea what was going on in the au, so this is added retrospectively (2nd August). The reason that all the Avengers are able to still be together is because there are Sokovia Accords, but they're different to how they are in canon. Instead of making the Avengers the responsibility of the council, they're an international organisation responsible for themselves in the sense that they have to pay for any and all damages they cause and countries have the right to refuse them entry unless there is a really serious threat (eg literal alien invasion).
> 
> Because there was less conflict about the Accords, the explosion that killed T'Challa's father didn't happen and Bucky wasn't implicated in it, so Steve was able to bring him home and he's on a fairly shaky road to recovery (decision on metal arm pending). I know Clint (and Tony???) is meant to be retired from the Avengers by this point, but he's sort of there part time. He's just around during this part of the fic because he's just been on a mission. If you have any other questions at any point, please feel free to ask me!


	2. Persuasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve talks to Peter about what comes next.

“Hey, kid, you okay?” Why was Captain freaking America asking him if he was okay? Why was he here? Peter had seen him once in a battle, in costume, and he’d seen videos of him thousands of times at school, but surely this must be a coincidence. A fucking weird coincidence, really.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” he said. He shouldn’t make it weird. He should just not recognise him, or pretend not to. It was undeniable, which was strange, because normally he was really bad at faces. Maybe it was the voice that did it.

“Young people like you shouldn’t have to be out when it’s like this,” he said. “It’s cold out at the moment. Not to sound like a creepy old man, but do you want some food? I can get you something, no worries.”

Peter didn’t know what to think. This was Captain America, literally one of his pre-teen heroes, offering to buy him a meal because he was being charitable for a homeless teenager. His life was absolutely nuts. “I, I couldn’t possibly, sir.” That was polite enough, right? “I’m- I’m perfectly fine, I swear.” He wasn’t perfectly fine, but he imagined that spending time with Steve Rogers wouldn’t help him in any way (though a meal was really appealing).

“Is it a biological mutation?” He asked. His voice was much lower this time but Peter could still hear it because of his stupid enhanced hearing. The comment made his insides freeze in fear. Captain America knew who he was. Captain America knew his face which meant other people did too and it...it wasn’t a secret anymore. Fuck.

“Don’t- not here. Please.” Shit he should have just played ignorant but his stupid mouth decided otherwise. “I can- another time.” He could feel himself shaking and his hands were moving rapidly, worrying the hem of his hoodie. This was not good. He could feel the panic rising so quickly and it was even worse now he knew that the Avengers probably all knew who he was. He didn’t want this. They’d never respect him now.

“That’s okay, kid.” His face was so calm and gentle but Peter felt so frazzled already. “I just asked because I know the feeling of needing to stuff with calories, and I can tell you that you’re not getting that on the street.”

Ugh, he was trying to get him to agree to a meal, and honestly he really wanted to. He just didn’t want all the other stuff; talking, Steve attempting to persuade him to go home (probably), him feeling guilty about someone else spending money on him. “I’m okay,” he said, barely keeping his voice from cracking.

“Food,” Steve insisted with a gentle amount of force in his voice. But instead of stepping towards him like Peter expected, he stepped backwards. “No obligations except to eat at least one dish and get a hot drink inside yourself. One that isn’t alcohol.”

Peter smiled at that. He’d never touched alcohol in his life and he wasn’t about to start, seeing as he had no idea what kind of effect it would have on his body. “I- okay,” he said. It couldn’t hurt too much, and he believed someone like Cap when he said there were no obligations. He was pretty sure there would at least be a conversation about going home, but he could deal with that. He knew he didn’t have to listen.

“Great,” he said, and heck the smile on his face was so genuine that Peter couldn’t help but feel happy. Also, this was Captain America, and if he wasn’t so absolutely exhausted at the moment he would definitely be incoherent with excitement. Seeing a childhood hero smile at him, at something he’d said? He couldn’t stop himself from bouncing on the balls of his feet.

-

Only fifteen minutes later, the two of them were sitting in an enclosed booth in a McDonald’s. Peter had commandeered the phone charger, pretty much ecstatic to be able to turn his phone on for the first time in over a week. The huge pile of chicken nuggets in front of him was helping, too. He could almost feel his blood sugar reaching an acceptable level for the first time in several days.

Steve, as he insisted on being called, was looking at him, a definite pleased expression on his face. He’d barely touched his cheeseburger, but he’d actually been talking for most of the time. He was telling Peter basically everything that had led up to him coming to offer him a meal.

“Mr Stark told us just over a week ago that he’d sent you your suit back so you could get back to your work, but it seemed like something strange was going on with the tracker and he thought you’d planted it on someone else.” Peter scowled a little at that, finishing his mouthful of chicken.

“He put the tracker back in?” He asked. A little bit of a dick move, but at least he wasn’t so worried about how Steve had found him anymore. He’d been wearing the suit under his clothes for an extra layer, so that was how they could track him.

Steve nodded before continuing. “He didn’t tell us who you were at that point, though, that came later after he got a call from your aunt. That was when you’d been gone, I don’t know, three days? Maybe four.

“We were pretty angry at him, if I’m honest. Inviting a minor onto the team, even if you didn’t accept it, was pretty unforgivable in our eyes. We were worried, too, but he said to give it a few days in case you came back on your own or contacted anyone.”

“I-I wasn’t really planning on it,” he admitted. He hadn’t really thought about how long he was going to go on with being on the streets. Probably until it first dropped below freezing, which was coming up pretty soon anyway. “Maybe when it got cold.”

“Smart choice,” Steve said with a smile. He didn’t even sound like he was angry or disappointed. “But, uh, okay, don’t reject me up front when I start talking? This is my sales pitch and try and hear me out.”

Here it comes. The lecture about going home. Peter found he couldn’t say a word to stop Cap, though. His body was giving up, apparently, because he was utterly exhausted, and that meant his head was shutting down too, which meant no words and a slight tinge of panic. This was not a good time to get a lecture. He was probably going to start crying.

“I know you’re probably going through a tough time. Puberty is always a tough time, I remember, and I barely even had one compared to you.” Peter wondered if Steve knew about the complications in his puberty. Would he even understand that? “And god, I can’t imagine the kind of extra stress all the spider stuff puts on you, and then there’s school.

“I personally can’t imagine how stressed you are about that. And sometimes when stress builds up you have to get away. I know that. But you have a life, Peter, and you should probably get back to it. Don’t cut everything off for the sake of one argument.”

Peter moved his hands away from any surface he could potentially break. He knew he shouldn’t be angry, but sometimes his emotions got all mixed up and he felt like he might grip onto the table a bit too hard. Or, worse, a chicken nugget. He didn’t want to think about how greasy a squashed chicken nugget would be. “Okay,” he managed.

“You don’t have to, but can you turn on your phone?” He asked. His voice was even gentler now. “While you have the charge in it, you should text your aunt and let her know you’re okay. You know, alive and stuff.”

At the moment, Peter didn’t even think he could move. His brain really hated him at the moment and how loud and bright McDonald’s was definitely wasn’t helping. He knew why they had to be somewhere loud, so no one could hear them, but he didn’t like it. But he nodded and tentatively moved his hand so he could grab his phone, bringing it close to him. In an attempt to feel more comfortable, he moved his feet so he was sitting cross-legged. He’d feel bad about putting his feet on the seats later.

When he got into his phone, he knew he’d have to wait a few minutes for all the things he’d missed to come through. He felt so bad, but honestly the prospect of facing up to all of it made him feel physically sick. He didn’t want to do this. He glanced at his phone screen, and when he unlocked it he could see the lag as the phone tried to process all the things that had happened in the last week.

He flipped his phone over so it was face down on the slightly grimy table and held the power button for a few moments. He couldn’t do it. Steve sighed quietly, but he didn’t say anything about it, instead just continuing. “I don’t think you want to, so I’m not going to push you to go home yet. But I am extending an invitation to the Avengers residence. No catch, and definitely no requirement to join or anything.”

“I-” He didn’t know if he was in the right position to respond to that at the moment. The way his brain felt, he’d probably say yes to anything that anyone wanted him to at the moment. Sleeping rough was hard, and he knew he really had no reason to say no, but at the same time he didn’t want to commit to anything at the moment just because of that. He would think of a reason not to later.

“No pressure to decide now,” Steve said, and ugh he was so kind. It wasn’t fair. He was just so understanding that Peter felt like he had to do something he wanted in return. “Can I put my number in your phone? It’s not my work phone so I might not get it immediately, but you know, it’s if you say no and change your mind.”

Peter nodded, coming slightly out of his very tight position to push his phone towards Steve. He couldn’t believe he was about to get Captain America’s number, holy shit. If anything was surreal, it was that. Wow. Captain America had a mobile phone and he had a number that Peter could text and ask for things and holy shit.

His stomach growled as he was apparently still hungry, and Steve laughed. “Do you want my burger? I always forget how greasy these things are and I’m still not used to them.” Peter looked over across the table. He hadn’t finished his other food yet, but he was honestly still starving and he needed a break from chicken.

“Are you sure?” He asked, and Steve nodded with a smile. He had no idea why he had no reservations about this, but maybe his whole body was just protesting everything at the moment. He’d certainly put it through a rough time recently. “I-I might come with you.” Stupid thing to say because now he’d feel bad if he didn’t, but he sort of wanted to and he knew he probably should.

“I’ll warn you now, I don’t often drive cars and I hate driving in New York,” he said, and Peter could only grin. He’d only ever driven on a road once, but he understood from being a pedestrian that it was hard, and probably even harder for Steve. He handed his phone back over to Peter, who managed to open the messaging app before hurriedly putting his phone down again.

“Did you have to get a new driving licence when you woke up?” He asked. “And did you have to relearn the highway code and stuff?” He was so curious about that he actually managed to get the full sentences out without stumbling.

“I don’t actually have a licence,” he said with a grin. “But I know how to drive, don’t sweat it. I have at least two fake licences, too, but I don’t like using them.” Captain America had fake driving licenses. Captain America broke the law. Heck, he was so much cooler than Peter ever expected.

“That’s cool,” he said, stuffing his face with cheeseburger. The brief moment of panic was over, it seemed, but he was still feeling rattled and utterly exhausted, so at some point he would probably end up shutting down or having a meltdown. Once he was somewhere safe and he could just let go and do what he needed to.

“How do you feel about school at the moment?” He asked. Peter shook his head and then pointed to his mouthful of burger. That one was hard and complicated and he didn’t think he could explain it now at all. He definitely couldn’t explain it when he was eating. “That’s okay, but it needs to be something you address at some point. You’re sixteen, right?”

“Fifteen,” he mumbled through a mouthful of bun and beef.

“Now, Peter Parker, don’t you speak with your mouth full,” Steve chided. “There’s plenty of time for you to eat.” He sounded like a fussy parent, so naturally Peter decided to speak again.

“I turn sixteen in April,” he said, and Steve just scowled at him in a way Peter presumed was exaggerated. It seemed like any annoyance would be a joke.

“Finish your food, young man, and then we can talk,” he said. Peter smiled at him, careful not to smile with his teeth and show the delights of all the food in his mouth yet again. “I’m just going to continue trying to persuade you while you eat. You can stay for as much or as little time as you want, again no pressure, and we absolutely won’t reveal your identity unless you decide to. There’s plenty of space and there are people who know your struggles.”

“I’m already convinced,” Peter said, “because I really, really need a shower right now.”

Steve laughed. “Do you want to take the food with you in the car? It’ll take a while to get there.” That was one thing. He wouldn’t be able to get back to New York on his own, which didn’t sit right with him. He was meant to be protecting people here, helping them, and he was going a couple hours away just because he didn’t have the courage to face up to his problems.

No. This was important. He could recognise, vaguely, that he needed to get himself sorted out. He could come home one day, and he would. He couldn’t really protect people like this, not when he was living on the edge of starvation constantly and he didn’t have somewhere warm to sleep.

He looked up at Steve and then squeezed his eyes shut. He could do this. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slightly scared by how large the state of New York is, wow. I know this goes directly against how Peter felt at the end of Homecoming, but he's not in a great place mentally and I guess it's just a logic thing that he'd go to the best place for him to get back on his feet for now.


	3. Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve drives Peter to the facility and Peter finally looks at his phone.

“You never finished explaining why you came to get me,” Peter said. He was feeling significantly better now he was in the (warm!) car, sitting on a comfortable seat and no longer worrying about whether he’d have enough money to eat later or if he’d pass out on patrol from hunger. He hadn’t quite realised how bad it was until now.

“Oh, you were on TV,” he said, and Peter froze. He was on TV? How? Who put him on TV, where, and who would have seen it?

“What? It wasn’t- people don’t know about the Spiderman thing, do they?” If people at school knew he was Spiderman he really couldn’t ever go back. If people knew he was Spiderman then his aunt wasn’t safe anymore and he’d have to go and protect her and ugh this was all his fault.

“No, no, don’t worry,” Steve said, turning around to smile at Peter, who nearly died from a spike of anxiety as he realised that Steve was driving without looking at the road. “Missing persons. Your aunt guilt tripped Tony into getting a TV bulletin with your photo on it. But we thought that we should find you before anyone else decided to drag you somewhere you didn’t want to go. And by we I mean I, the others don’t know about this.”

“They what?” He was suddenly seized by the fear that actually he wasn’t welcome with the Avengers at all. They wouldn’t want him back after he had so clearly rejected them in favour of helping the people he thought really needed it. They were probably really annoyed at him and they wouldn’t want him staying in their house. They wouldn’t want him staying anyway, he was basically just an annoying kid.

And school. Fuck, if they did a bulletin on the TV then everyone at school knew that he wasn’t just ill, he’d just disappeared off the face of the earth for a bit. Was it mentioned that he’d run away? No one would ever let him live this down and he just couldn’t go back. This wasn’t fair. Why did May do that? Now, even if he went back, people would always know that he’d run away. That he didn’t want to be there. They’d assume that, and even if people made the wrong assumptions he wouldn’t exactly be able to change what they thought.

“Don’t worry,” Steve said. Peter was worrying regardless of what he said. “It has been mutually agreed by the whole team that any time you wanted to spend any time at the house, you could.” That assertion didn’t really help because now he felt like he was intruding and the others really wouldn’t want him there. There were so many Avengers already, there was no way they’d just let him stay as long as he needed. He’d probably have to formally join them or something like that.

Peter turned his attention to his phone instead. He wanted to message May and let her know that he was okay. He probably should have prioritised that before she went and told all of New York, including his entire school, that he was missing and he’d run away. They probably called him ‘vulnerable teenager’ and said which school he attended. This was so stupid of him and now he was stuck with these rubbish consequences.

There was a whole series of messages from May:

‘Pete, your dinner’s ready if you feel like eating’  
‘I know you don’t like me coming to your room when you’re upset, but I’m worried’  
‘Have you gone out? I know you don’t agree with me about the Spiderman thing but please don’t go out looking for a fight tonight’  
‘Peter, please come home, it’s getting very late and I’m worried’  
‘Peter. If you don’t get home soon you won’t get enough sleep to go to school tomorrow’  
‘Please come home, I just had a call from school and I know you’re not in’  
‘I’m going to call Stark. Please come home, we can get this sorted out properly’  
‘At least tell me that you’re safe, Pete’  
‘I love you, please come home’

It went on and on and Peter felt sick. He felt exhausted and awful. Why had he done this? Why couldn’t he just have thought about the consequences, acknowledged that he needed to talk about it and work through it, and then done just that? He felt like such an idiot. ‘I’m sorry,’ he started the text, and then he deleted it. Sorry didn’t cut it. ‘I’m okay. I love you and I’ll call you later.’ But he didn’t know if he would be able to, so he deleted that too. ‘I’m safe. I love you and I’ll talk to you soon.’

That was okay, so he sent it and moved on. He didn’t think he needed to listen to the voicemails, that would probably just make him feel worse. But there were also his friends. People he’d barely spoken to in his life had messaged him in the last couple of hours, which was probably in the aftermath of him being broadcast as missing. There was a text from Liz asking if he was okay, which really stung, and a few from MJ calling him an idiot, and hundreds from Ned.

Peter couldn’t help but smile at that. He didn’t feel up to reading all the texts, because half of them were probably panicked, but he sent a text telling him to stop worrying because he was okay. Then he sent a picture of the back of Cap’s head with the caption ‘Captain America doesn’t have a driving licence’.

‘whY are you in a car with Captain FREAKING America’ Peter grinned at the response, which came almost immediately. ‘I’m glad ur okay tho. For now. Bc you’re in a car with someone w/o a licence.’

‘Kinda complicated, I’ll call you later? Actually I’ll facetime you, u won’t believe where I’m going.’

‘You’re not going somewhere wacky like Berlin again, right?’

‘I’m going to Russia, rip me they’ll kill me on sight’ He wrote. ‘I’m just going upstate, don’t sweat it, not gonna get killed by the anti-gay police’

‘U went upstate a couple weeks ago, right? Is there an Avengers thing there?’

‘Sorta,’ he wrote. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was allowed to say, but he was definitely going to tell Ned everything regardless. ‘I’m going there for a couple weeks. Sorry I haven’t been in school and stuff, May found out about Spidey and I kinda ran off.’

‘Kinda? U literally ran off my mom saw it on TV last night’ Peter winced at that. Yes, he ran away. He shouldn’t have, and he really regretted it now. ‘You coulda stayed with me bro’

‘It’s a school thing too. U know how it is, I don’t think I can do it anymore.’ He typed that one out and deleted it again. He felt bad telling Ned that he didn’t think he could do school anymore. He was good at school and he should be able to go in. He didn’t have a real reason why he didn’t want to go back because the way people treated him really didn’t seem like a good enough reason. Instead, he sent ‘Sorry bro, I’ll keep in touch’. Then he put his phone down.

“Talking to friends?” Steve asked. Peter nodded, and Steve made quick eye contact with him in the mirror before Peter pulled his gaze away. “Have you told your aunt you’re okay?”

“I sent her a text and said I’d call her later,” he said. He didn’t know how much later, because he felt really bad and he really didn’t want to face up to her anger, but he would do it. He knew she couldn’t lose another family member, and fuck he’d left her not even thinking about how he was pretty much the only person she had left. He was such a bad nephew.

“That’s good,” Steve said. “I know you’re a good kid. And I’m sure you know it, but you made a pretty stupid decision back then and worried a lot of people. But everyone makes stupid decisions sometimes, or repeatedly. It’s okay.”

Peter nodded, and Steve fell silent. Peter finished up all the leftover food, which was now cold and disgusting but still very much needed. He was starving still. Then he put his head against the window, trying not to worry about his greasy hair leaving a mark on the likely incredibly expensive car or his clothes making the seat dirty. He closed his eyes, and before he knew it the exhaustion took over.


	4. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter arrives at the Avengers facility.

When Peter came to, he was immediately seized by panic. There was a presence to his left, and he’d been touched while he was asleep there was someone coming to get him and he was too enclosed and tired to put up a proper fight and-

“Peter, it’s okay. No need to run, it’s just me, Steve. We’ve arrived and I thought you might want to get into a proper bed rather than sleeping here all afternoon.” That inner sense in his head stopped going haywire and he was finally able to work out what was going on.

“Oops,” he managed, looking down at his chest. He’d managed to scoot backwards along the car seat, but there was definitely some sort of twist or roll that he hadn’t realised he was doing in there somewhere because it seemed like the seat belt was tied in knots around him. “I’ll get myself out.”

Steve chuckled and nodded, reaching into the car to grab the empty chicken nugget box and Peter’s damp, dirty rucksack. Peter opened his mouth to protest, but Steve shook his head. “I’m taking it,” he said. “You can have it back once we get to your room, but you’re shaking so much you might drop it.”

Peter glanced down at his hands and discovered that he was in fact shaking terribly. Well, that was embarrassing. He wondered why that was, and then he remembered the constant anxious feeling and the exhaustion and the unfortunate circumstances of when he woke up. Yeah, not good. When he finally managed to get himself out of the belt, Steve was standing out by a glass door he hadn’t seen when he came the other day.

“This is the back entrance,” Steve said. “Well, one of three lower floor side entrances. It’s closer to my parking spot and the door goes to the living room, which is less intimidating than that entrance hall you walked through the other day. That’s the only bit the press gets to see, basically.”

Peter nodded. He really wanted to take his bag back, but he knew Cap wouldn’t let him, and he was stopped in his tracks the moment he walked through the door. “Heck,” he whispered, very conscious that he was standing in front of people who wouldn’t approve of him swearing, probably.

They were all there. All of them. Fuck. There was just a huge group of superheroes waiting there. In the living room. Possibly for him. Heck, he couldn’t deal with this much excitement when he was this tired. He was probably pretty close to passing out by this point. He’d gone past surprise and was honestly at dizzy by this point. Any more shock could probably knock him out.

“Come on, everyone, don’t stand here staring.” That was Mr Stark and Peter was terrified. Tony had seen him when he looked like shit plenty of times, but this was probably the worst and he really didn’t like it. He didn’t want this to be the first impression out of costume that the Avengers had of him. “Kid, you look awful. I think it’s Spidey’s bedtime.”

Peter wanted to protest that he didn’t have a bedtime, except when he was at home he technically did, he just never followed it. Also, objecting would definitely make him look like a child. “Hi,” was all he managed, attempting a weak and probably incredibly wooden-looking wave at the assembled Avengers. A couple of them waved back. He realised that his voice had definitely cracked and gone up an octave higher than he wanted.

“Aw, give him a break,” someone said. After a moment of fumbling around to put the voice to a name, Peter realised it was Sam Wilson. “He’s just suffered through Steve’s driving. God knows I’d need an aspirin and a nap after that.” Peter just about managed a smile to that. He was exhausted and felt like he was seeing and hearing everything through a layer of glass but also not. He was trapped behind the glass under a very heavy item while they all moved and spoke as normal.

“Everyone, this is Peter,” Steve said, indicating him as if they didn’t already know that. “He’s Spider-Man and he’s pretty tired at the moment because he’s been sleeping rough for the last couple of days. I’m sure you all want to meet him and ask questions and all, but he’s exhausted, so I’m sure that can wait until after he’s slept.”

“Sure,” said someone else, and it took Peter a solid thirty seconds to identify the voice as Clint Barton’s. By the time he’d even realised, he was already following Steve through the group of people and going up a set of stairs.

“That was the living room,” Steve said. “It’s communal, and we sit there sometimes for meetings or just to, uh, chill?” Despite his foggy head, Peter picked up on how awkward Steve was on slang and he laughed. “We have movie nights sometimes. We’re going upstairs, but over that way is the communal kitchen and then if you carry on down the hall there’s a training room.

“Up here are all the rooms. They’re private, and locked, but unless you really don’t want someone to disturb you, like if you’re sleeping, then Vision might drift in occasionally. It’s sort of creepy but you get used to it. On the left of the corridor in order there’s Tony’s room, then an empty room for Thor, then Natasha, then Wanda, then Sam. On the right there’s my room, Bucky’s, Clint’s, an empty one for Bruce, and then Vision’s. Yours is on the left hand side of the corridor.”

Peter blinked at all the information, knowing that he’d barely taken a word in. He’d probably forget all of it in the morning, including which room he was in. But for now. Sixth on the left, next to Sam. It didn’t escape him how cool it was that he was technically sort of living with real proper heroes who saved lives. Because it was cool. Really rad. Amazing. “Thanks,” he said, after a pause that was probably way too long.

Steve handed him his bag. “Get as much sleep as you need,” he said. “There’ll most likely be someone else awake when you get up again, whenever that is, and if you need any food just help yourself. You have an ensuite and you can drink the water from the taps, I think there’s a glass in there. There are also clothes, which I hazard a guess you’re going to need when you get up.”

Basically, he was telling Peter that he smelled, but it wasn’t like he didn’t already know that or anything. He hadn’t showered in two weeks. And he’d been wearing the same clothes for the whole time. Peter just grimaced at him and headed over into his new room.

It was dark inside, and honestly he was too tired to go exploring or anything like that. He pulled off his hoodie and then tshirt, pants, and then his Spider-Man suit. From there, he wrestled with his binder until he could get it off before collapsing onto the heavenly, wonderful, amazing soft bed. He couldn’t wait to sleep for a fucking week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't as long as I would have liked, but I'm loving this so much I really wanted to post another chapter asap!


	5. Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up and nearly walks in on something he shouldn't.

When Peter woke up, he felt a lot better. It took him a few moments to work out what was going on, but strangely enough he didn’t panic during that time. He wasn’t restrained and the room was warm, dark, and definitely non-threatening. This bed was so soft he didn’t really want to move, but he was starving again and he wanted to eat.

He regretfully climbed out of the warm, soft bed, and he noticed a pile of clothes next to the bed. Frick, he was never going to be able to pay Mr Stark back for everything here. The whole flat he lived in was probably worth less than that pile of clothes. The problem was that he really couldn’t put the clothes he’d just taken off back on, because they were utterly gross. Like, really gross. Covered in grime and probably on the verge of falling to pieces, which was a shame because he really liked that shirt.

Still bemoaning the loss of the duvet, he picked up his binder, which he really needed to wash as soon as possible because he couldn’t throw that out, and grudgingly chose a new shirt, hoodie and pair of trousers from Mount Clothesmore before he headed over to the door he presumed led into the bathroom.

Wow. Wow, this was unreal. He always managed to forget how obscenely rich some people were, particularly Tony. Wow. It was so big. It was bigger in here than his bedroom and the bathroom at home. Rich people were insane. This thing was unnecessarily big, though he guessed that might not be the case if you were huge and bulky like Thor or Steve. He should not be imagining muscled men in bathrooms, that was a bad idea, he should just have a shower and be done and never think about half naked Captain America ever again.

Fifteen minutes of showering later, Peter was pretty much convinced that he was the luckiest previously sort of homeless person ever. Even as someone who hated showers, that one had been pretty great. Even the darn towels were better than anything he had at home and probably four times thicker too. Oh, and the bathroom had underfloor heating. He was reminded again of his earlier thought that rich people were insane. This was so different to anything he’d experienced in his life.

New clothes on, Peter finally made his way out of his room after opening his curtains (there was a balcony and holy moly there was a garden too). He wasn’t sure about whether wearing shoes was okay, but his were so dirty he felt bad that they were even in the room in the first place. When he left the room, he could hear voices. Huh, sound shielding in the bedrooms too.

He wasn’t paying much attention to the words, until he caught what someone was saying. “...Peter’s school.” He moved a little closer to where the voices were coming from, crouching low and making as little noise as possible. If they were talking about him, he wanted to know exactly what they were saying.

“He’s only fifteen,” someone said. Peter didn’t immediately recognise the voice. “It’s the law for him to be in school, at least for the rest of this year.”

“You can’t even be suggesting he drops out at sixteen?” That was Tony, and he sounded pretty angry. Maybe just irritated, maybe angry. Peter couldn’t work it out. “He should have the chance to graduate and go to college like he deserves, he’s much smarter than you’re suggesting.”

“We know he’s intelligent, Tony.” Steve was speaking this time. “I did ask him about school, and I think something must have happened because he was very opposed to it. I told you, he said he wasn’t really thinking about why he was staying away, he just didn’t want to go back.”

“That’s another thing.” The first voice cut in again, and Peter could now make out that it was someone he hadn’t met before. He definitely didn’t know that voice. “We shouldn’t keep the kid away from his family. They’d be much better at looking after him and helping him through all of this kind of thing, and they’re probably worried sick.”

“That’s family singular,” said Steve with a sigh. Peter felt a sharp stab in his heart. His aunt was so alone back in Queens and he’d left her there without thinking. “Only his aunt seems to be in the picture, but nonetheless she’s very worried about him. I got Peter to text her earlier.”

“I think he should go back ASAP,” someone said. Natasha, possibly. “He’s so far away from home that he wouldn’t be able to see her without someone driving him back. Also, that’s his home. I understand why he’s here for now, but we’re not his legal guardians and this isn’t where he lives. All of his belongings are at his home, and he’s still just a child. I don’t think removing him from where he lives is a good idea in the long term at all.”

“I think there might be something wrong at home,” Steve said. “Or just something wrong in general. He really was in a state when I spoke to him this morning. I was probably a bit harsh in my lecture, but he was very upset when I suggested that he should go home.” Peter remembered his reaction with a little bit of embarrassment. He wasn’t that upset anymore, but he was upset that they were trying to decide without him. He wasn’t just a little kid anymore, and he thought the babying would stop after he proved that he knew what he was doing.

“If there’s something wrong, I doubt we’re the best people to help.” That was Wanda, who Peter had spoken to exactly once because he was way too intimidated to say anything else. He remembered that he said hi and she’d stared at him for a few moments before telling him that he should be careful. To be fair, they’d been about to go into battle, but he was still scared of her.

“But on the other hand, we might be the most understanding of what he’s going through,” Steve said. “He ran away because his aunt found out he was Spider-Man, and we’re the only other people who know about that.”

“I have a suggestion.” It was Clint, this time, and immediately the rest of the Avengers fell silent to listen to him. “I think we should ask Peter how he feels instead of talking about it and acting like we have any authority to decide when he’s still asleep.”

Peter smiled to himself. At least someone was on his side. Except...shoot. They thought he was still asleep. They thought he hadn’t heard all of that. Would they hate him for having heard all their opinions on what he should do next? How much had he missed? Had they actually decided on anything while he was gone?

Before any of them could move and see him, he ran as quickly and quietly as he could back to his bedroom. Sixth on the left...yes. The door was still slightly ajar, and he could explore before going back down again. Judging by the time, they could have been in there for an evening meal, so he should go back down soon or he wouldn’t have any food. He took a quick look around, shoving the socks he’d been wearing for two weeks into the bin by the door. There was an empty bookshelf and an empty desk with a wheely chair he was going to spin in for at least half an hour later.

Okay, that was probably enough time to pretend he hadn’t heard them talking about him. He made his way down the stairs again, and when he listened this time they were just talking about their preferred vegetables or something. “Hey,” he said, going into the kitchen. Everyone looked up and Peter suddenly felt very self conscious.

Basically all the Avengers were here. There was one person he hadn’t met before, standing next to the table- wait, was that Bucky Barnes? Peter was pretty sure that if he hadn’t just been asleep, he would have fainted right there. Bucky fricking Barnes. Wow. Holy heck. “Hey Peter,” Steve said. He was standing by the sink. Was he actually watching Captain America do the dishes? This was the best moment of his life. “Did you sleep well?”

“I- yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I slept great, thanks. I-” He stopped, realising he actually didn’t have any more to say.

“We’re just about to eat,” Bucky said. Holy wow, Bucky Barnes was talking to him. Woah. There was a story behind him being here that Peter really wanted to know but he really couldn’t ask. “Is there enough for him to join, Nat?”

“That’s Natasha to you, Barnes,” Natasha said, and even Peter could hear the smile in her voice. She was standing by the oven, which meant, holy shit, Black Widow was cooking his dinner. What. This was amazing. “And of course, we always have gallons of leftovers. You just go sit down, Peter, it’ll be done in a minute.”

Peter sat down and immediately took his phone out. Ned had to hear about this, holy shit. ‘Bro, Black Widow is cooking my dinner.’


	6. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets to eat his first meal with the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor trigger warning for the start of this chapter for the mention of needles and medical stuff! There's not very much of it and there are no graphic descriptions, but I thought it was worth a mention.

After sitting down to let the others get on with what they were doing, Peter got a text back from Ned almost immediately. ‘Dude, where are you?? Also, I need pics. Black Widow. Woah. What’s she doing, gutting a fish?’

Peter smiled down at his phone and glanced over to where Natasha was standing at the oven. ‘Nah, she’s just standing at the oven watching it. Also, it’s lasagne. And Captain America is doing the dishes, what is my life’

‘Pics or it didn’t happen :P’ Came the almost immediate response. Peter could not take pictures of them in a million years. His phone would probably get snapped in half instantly, because he was pretty sure that the daily lives of the Avengers were meant to be secret.

‘Can you imagine what would happen if Black Widow saw me taking photos of her? This is like, where they live’

‘Wait what, you’re LIVING WITH THE AVENGERS?????’

‘You can’t tell anyone about this.’ Peter should have thought about this before, admittedly. He wanted to tell Ned all this cool stuff about what was happening, but he didn’t want him to tell anyone else. He loved Ned, but this was next level amazing and he was sure that Ned would want to share just as much as he did. ‘May doesn’t know yet.’

Aunt May hadn’t even replied to his text yet, which wasn’t fair. She’d been worried about him for so long and now he was safe and okay and she didn’t know yet. It seemed like fate really wasn’t on his side at the moment. ‘Ur secret is safe with me,’ said Ned. ‘Providing u get pics of the Avengers doing dumb shit like eating cereal’

‘I’ll work on it,’ he said. He probably would, honestly, because the appeal of having dumb photos of the Avengers on his phone was huge.

“No phones at the dinner table,” Natasha said, coming up behind him and making him jump half a mile. He ended up crouched halfway across the room, oops. His face bright red, he straightened up and attempted an apologetic smile. “Don’t worry. Were you texting your aunt?”

He shook his head, unable to stop his embarrassment at the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him. “My friend,” he said. “The, uh, I know he- the one who knows about me being Spider-Man.” It felt so strange saying that. It had changed so quickly from being a secret to having a whole group of people know. Every time he said it, he felt like someone was going to out him publicly. “He was, um, he wanted proof that I was here and stuff, but I said no, don’t worry!”

“I can send proof,” Natasha said with a smile, and Peter just about died when she reached her hand out for the phone. Fuck, Black Widow was asking for his phone. He gave it to her, trying not to worry about her just snapping it in half or something. He knew he could do that (rest in peace his previous phone), but could she? Would she?

To his surprise and embarrassment and sort of pleasure, she took his phone, tapped on the screen a few times, and then handed it back to him. Quickly, he scrambled to check what she had done, and what he found sort of floored him a little. She’d taken a selfie and sent ‘hi Peter’s friend’ with it. And god, Black Widow didn’t know how to take selfies. She’d taken a proper adult selfie where she just looked very confused at what was going on. It was really, really hard not to just laugh, and the only thing that stopped him was his fear of imminent death if he did laugh.

‘BRO,’ was the only thing that came back from Ned for the next couple of minutes.

‘She took my phone, Ned, she did that without me even asking heLP’

‘Im not giving u help, you’re living the dream Pete’

‘I gtg but I’ll talk to you after I’ve eaten,’ he sent back, putting his phone back in his pocket. Trying not to be too embarrassed by the fact that he’d just jumped halfway across the room, he made his way back to the seat he was sitting in before.

“You’re not allergic to anything, are you?” Steve asked. “You know, cheese, gluten, anything like that?”

“I don’t think I’m allergic to anything that you’d normally eat,” he said. “I’m, um- there’s a thing called chlorhexidine gluconate that I’m allergic to but the spider thing might have changed that? I don’t know.”

“You’re going to have to translate that one,” Natasha said with a laugh as she got the dish out of the oven. It smelled amazing and Peter suddenly remembered again that he was starving. The moment she got the food, people started emerging from the next room and coming to sit around the very large table.

“Uh, antiseptic stuff,” he said. “And mouthwash, I think. They use it when giving injections and stuff, and it gives me a really bad rash. But they don’t put it in food or anything so we’re safe.” He probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it, but it was sort of important. It was not a pleasant experience, going to get injections at twelve years old and being unable to because his arm was burning. He didn’t want that to happen if he got injured or something.

“We can talk medicals when we’re not eating,” Tony suggested as he walked into the room. “This smells good. Better than whatever Barnes came up with yesterday.”

“Tony, I made that,” Wanda said. She sat down in the seat to Peter’s left, which made him slightly uneasy, but he knew he was probably wrong to feel that way. She was intimidating in a way not unlike the way MJ was intimidating, he just didn’t know her as well, and his instincts were telling him there was no immediate danger from her so he shouldn’t be scared.

Tony just laughed nervously and sat down opposite him. “Did you sleep well? And, no offense, you got a shower right?” Peter smiled at his words and nodded. Had he really smelled that bad? Probably, honestly. He’d felt gross.

Dinner was absolutely amazing. Peter tried not to eat really quickly or eat more than his fair share, but it was hard. He was absolutely starving and honestly very rarely felt satisfied after a full meal, so he wanted to eat as much as possible. But at the same time, he didn’t want to take too much and he really didn’t want people to notice how much he ate because people always started asking questions after that.

He finished one full plate, and even though he was nowhere near full he put his cutlery down. Only half of the dish was gone, but he knew that Steve probably ate loads and there was probably some super soldier stuff going on with- wait, did Bucky have a metal arm? Yeah, there was definitely some super soldier stuff going on there. He didn’t want to take their food.

Peter tried not to stare at the metal arm. How had he not noticed that before? He had basically had a conversation with him and he hadn’t even noticed that he had a literal prosthetic metal arm. Hell, he really wanted to know how that worked. Did it have a cooling system? How did he control it? Were there nerves in there and stuff? He was trying to work out in his head how it all worked, but without knowing whether it was partially organic or entirely machinery he had basically no starting point.

“Did you want some more, Peter?” That was Sam speaking, and Peter very nearly jumped out of his seat again. Oops. He’d zoned out there. He glanced over at what was left again and cautiously nodded. It was so nice he couldn’t refuse.

“How can you get so much food in you?” Clint asked, and Peter felt eyes on him again. “You’re so skinny, it looks like you eat nothing.”

“I- haven’t been eating much for a couple weeks,” he admitted. That was safe, wasn’t it? He’d been homeless, so it wouldn’t sound too snappy or anything, would it? “I don’t know, I think it’s the spider thing. I eat loads more now.”

“I think we need to get that kind of thing checked out,” Tony said. “I know you’re cautious and all that, but if you’re having lots of real, biological changes because of this then I think you need to get it looked into.”

“I don’t want anyone taking my blood,” Peter said immediately. “I don’t care if it’s just some sci fi thing, but like- what if people, I don’t know, steal it and use it to create more enhanced spider people?”

“That’s not just a sci fi thing,” Steve said, glancing at Bucky. “I agree with you on one hand, but it’s like you said earlier. If you have allergies, or complications, or stuff like that, it could wreck your body without us knowing a thing. Especially because you’re still young.”

“Can we discuss blood samples once we’re done eating?” Wanda asked, and Peter nodded, happy to stop thinking about the fairly imminent possibility that they were going to want to analyse his blood. There was all sorts of stuff that could be going on, and honestly he didn’t want to know. What if it was messing with all his hormones and stuff?

“I do need to talk to you about something when we’re done, Peter,” Tony said, and Peter immediately felt anxiety rising in him. He hated it when people said that kind of thing, because it wasn’t acceptable to ask what they’d be talking about. Almost immediately, he felt sick and shaky. He had a good idea of what they’d be talking about and he didn’t want to think about it yet.

Instead of saying anything, though, all he could do was nod and focus on his food. Just with those few words, he was stupidly close to crying and he just needed to focus on something else. Maybe Tony would forget that he wanted to talk about something. Hopefully. It was unlikely, honestly, but he didn’t want to think about the upcoming conversation as inevitable. He knew what it was about, and he didn’t want to make a decision. He couldn’t make such an important decision yet, he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note if you're one of the (many, wow!) subscribers to this fic or if you haven't seen my update to the first chapter (made today). There's a note at the end of the chapter like this one which explains the mechanics of this au and why everything isn't depressing (spoilers, it's because I'm too lazy to write conflict). If you have any questions, please ask! I try to answer every comment and I appreciate them a lot.


	7. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter talks to Tony about what he did.

“Hey kid, how are you holding up?” After the meal, Tony pulled him aside into the living room Peter had entered earlier, leaving the others to tidy up. He was filled with so much dread he just felt sick and he felt like the moment he was challenged in any way he was going to burst into tears.

“I’m okay,” he said. He didn’t think he could manage much more, especially as it was pretty clear that a lecture was incoming. He should probably text his final will and testament to Ned before he died of embarrassment because he cried in front of all the Avengers.

“I don’t mean now, I mean in general,” he said. “Because what you’ve been doing the last couple weeks? That doesn’t tell me ‘okay’. That tells me that something went wrong, and I want to know what that thing is so I have a shot at helping you.”

“It just sort of happened, okay? I didn’t plan it.” He didn’t want to sound defensive and angry, but he was. It was stupid, yes, but he’d done it. And it was over now, and he didn’t want to think about why. “I didn’t intend for it to happen like that, Mr Stark, it was just going to be until I felt ready to go back and then I didn’t.”

“Exactly,” Tony said. “So there’s something wrong. That’s okay, we just need to sort it out and we need to know what the plan is. That’s why I’m talking to you about this. I hate to sound like a boring adult, but you have a life that you need to get back to and that needs to happen as soon as possible.”

Peter sighed. He didn’t know how to put all his thoughts about this into words. He didn’t even know if he had thoughts about it at all, honestly. “I don’t have a plan. This was sprung on me very quickly and I was- I was really tired, okay? And it was cold.”

“Okay, I can set it out for you like this,” Tony said. “You can answer my questions really simply and then we can get to the problem and find out what happens. Why did you run away?”

“Because Aunt May didn’t want me to be Spider-Man,” he admitted. “She said it was too dangerous and if I didn’t change my mind she’d call you and get you to take the suit back. I-I didn’t want that, so I wanted to leave until I was less upset and she was less angry.”

“Okay. I see where you’re coming from there.” Tony seemed to relax a little at his answer. “So why didn’t you go back?”

“I said before,” he said. He didn’t know how to explain his feelings much further than he already had. “I didn’t feel ready. Nothing really changed and I just-” He stopped, took a shaky breath, and closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t. Not now. “I couldn’t.”

“That’s not really a very good answer. Does it have anything to do with school?” Peter shook his head. He didn’t want to go back to school, but that wasn’t the reason he was staying away. Well, maybe a little bit, but it wasn’t the whole reason. “So when are you going back to school? You’ve missed two weeks now.” He shrugged. His throat felt closed up and wrong and he knew that the moment he spoke he’d just start sobbing.

Tony sighed, and then he continued. “I understand that you feel like you can’t go back or something like that, or you have something to prove. But you’re just a kid. I know you like to think you’re very grown up now, but the truth is that legally, physically and mentally you’re still a child. And you still have to live with your aunt and listen to her and go to school.”

Peter nodded. He knew he was meant to. And he’d gladly listen to Aunt May if she understood what he was going through, but she didn’t. She had no idea what it was like to be in his shoes, none at all. She didn’t know how he felt about school or his friends or his body or the loss of his uncle Ben or Spider-Man or anything. She didn’t understand why he had to be Spider-Man. Because Spider-Man was everything he wasn’t and he was everything he really wanted to be. When he wasn’t Spider-Man, he was just a teenager who couldn’t cope with a loud classroom and was going nowhere in life despite how smart he was because he just couldn’t match up to other people when it came to speaking.

“Hey, kid? Ah, don’t cry.” Fuck, was he crying? He was. Damn it. He didn’t want to cry over this, it was sort of dumb and he shouldn’t be upset. He should just man up and deal with it, that was what he always told himself. He pulled in a shaky breath and tried to focus back on what was going on. “If you’re going through a rough patch mentally, that’s okay.”

Peter could only nod; that was the only way that accurately described it. He just felt sensitive or anxious all the time and there was just a huge anxious block in his mind when he thought about talking to his aunt again, confronting her about what would come next. And school was just...he didn’t know why, but the more he stayed away the more certain he was that he couldn’t go back.

“Okay,” Tony said. “There’s just one other thing, and I know you’re not going to like this so I’m sorry that we have to discuss it while you’re upset. It’s just very important and you need to keep it in mind.” Peter nodded. He doubted he could feel much worse than he did currently, honestly. “It’s about Spider-Man. You know that what you’re doing is illegal, right?”

Peter nodded. He hoped this wasn’t going to be a lecture on whether breaking the law was right or not, because it had always been right in his situation. “Glad you know. Would have been awkward if you didn’t. Anyway, there are some important people who want you to join the Avengers so you’ll stop taking the law into your own hands. I know you turned us down before, and there’s still no pressure on you to accept, but keep it in mind that if you want to be associated with us in the long term you’ll have to stop the vigilante stuff.”

Peter nodded again. He felt like he must look stupid, but he understood it all. He understood it, but that didn’t mean he thought it was fair. Because it really wasn’t. There was no universe where it was fair to tell him he couldn’t help people fight crime. The police clearly couldn’t keep up with everything. If they could, then he wouldn’t be stopping robberies all the time.

He felt like he didn’t get much of a choice in all of this. He had to go home because he was still a kid. He had to go back to school because he was still of legal school age. He had to achieve because he was smart. He had to come here to stay off the streets, but he also had to join the Avengers if he wanted to be seen in the same sentence as them because what he was doing normally was illegal. He had to fight crime to help people, but he had to stop fighting crime because he wasn’t allowed. He had to do what was right, but he had to refrain from doing what was right because it hurt people.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” he said. He hoped he wasn’t audibly crying too much, because he really didn’t want all the others to hear that he was so upset. He wanted to say more, to describe why it didn’t make sense (because people always seemed to understand when he didn’t and his confusion confused them), but he felt like if he opened his mouth he wouldn’t be able to get the words out through his tears.

Instead, despite Tony calling after him, he rushed across the living room and up the stairs without even looking down the corridor to where he knew the kitchen was. Sixth door on the left, he managed to remember, but he went past it once anyway in his slight daze. He closed his door firmly, hoping no one came up after him, and went straight to lie on the bed and cry. He knew he had to deal with all the problems and paradoxes he’d created for himself at some point. He knew he’d have to compromise and make sacrifices. He knew it. He just didn’t think he’d be able to choose for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do people like the short, regular chapters, or would you prefer longer ones? :) at the moment I'm managing a one update per day schedule but the chapters normally come to about 1.2k words. If I were doing longer chapters, updates might slow down a bit but you'd get more per update.


	8. Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter talks to his friends about what he should do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested, while writing this chapter I listened to a band called VNV Nation, which I definitely recommend if you're into anything electronic/stuff that's pretty weird. I'm not super into bands and music but I really like them and would super recommend their song Illusion (it kinda reminds me of Peter), which is in their decidedly more conventional album, Resonance.
> 
> I've decided to stick with shorter, regular chapters with one chapter per day for now. This may change, of course, and if the chapters start to get a little meatier then they will end up being longer, but by that I mean like 3k, not 10k or anything monstrous like that!

After crying for a solid twenty minutes about how awful his life was and how embarrassed he was, Peter felt absolutely gross and he was covered in snot. Lovely. He picked his phone up from where he’d abandoned it on his bed and went over to the spinning chair by the desk. There was a box of tissues on the desk. Peter grabbed a couple and tried not to look at it, uncomfortably reminded of the only time he cried regularly enough to justify tissue boxes; after Uncle Ben died.

After clearing his face as much as he could without feeling like he was coated in paper dust, he sighed and turned his phone back on. There was a text from Aunt May now, which said ‘Please call me asap. Love you.’ Peter looked at it and dismissed it for now. He really couldn’t talk to her in this state, he didn’t even know what he’d say. He’d say he was sorry for worrying her and disagreeing, but he couldn’t promise to change anything when it came to the whole Spider-Man thing so the apology probably wouldn’t ring true.

Ned had texted him back too. ‘See ya later, dude.’

‘I’ve officially eaten lasagne with the Avengers,’ he told his friend.

‘That’s so cool,’ Ned said. ‘Does Thor eat mountains of food? I mean he’s a literal god, does he just not eat at all? That would be rubbish tbh.’

‘Slow down,’ Peter said, a smile sneaking back onto his face. Ned could always cheer him up and remind him about how amazing everything that was going on was. It was sort of hard to remember that when everything kept being really shit. ‘Thor isn’t around and honestly I have no idea where he is,’ he said. ‘Vision doesn’t eat though, which is really freaky because he just sat there with an empty plate.’

‘Vision freaks me out,’ Ned said, and honestly Peter agreed. Vision hadn’t even said a word to him yet, Peter wasn’t even sure if he’d heard him speak, and it was scary. ‘Is Black Widow super intimidating or is she just a really nice killer cook with a hard outer shell? I mean she takes lame selfies but is that just An Act’

‘Chill, dude,’ Peter said. ‘She seems nice honestly.’ While he was typing his response, another text from Ned came through.

‘Is that selfie allowed to be saved to my phone or will someone come and murder me if I have a really rubbish photo of Black Widow on my phone.’

Peter sent what he’d already typed and told his friend that he was probably safe to have it on his phone if he didn’t show it to a bunch of people before continuing. ‘Hawkeye and Falcon are so nice, they’re not even intimidating like Hawkeye is literally old enough to have been my dad.’ Was that a weird thing to say about a guy he barely knew? Probably, but he didn’t care.

 

‘That’s really weird,’ Ned said. ‘Uh, is it okay if I showed MJ the photo? She asked me where you were and stuff because maybe possibly I mentioned that I knew kinda.’

‘Dude, you don’t even know where I am,’ he said. MJ just decided when she did and didn’t do what people wanted; there was no point asking her not to share his secret, because if she wanted to then she probably would.

‘I know the gist of it,’ he replied. ‘She was worried, dude, and she was threatening me with making Flash my quiz buddy if I didn’t give her an answer. She said you left her on read.’

Peter winced. To be fair, he had left her on read. Shoot. ‘That’s rough, buddy.’

‘Weeb, don’t you pretend that wasn’t an Avatar quote,’ was the only thing Ned sent back for a few moments. ‘Btw dude she know’s you’re Spider-Man, idk how.’

What. What the actual frick. How did MJ know he was Spider-Man? Had she told anyone? Hinted it to people? Agh, everyone who knew this just made it less secret and any of them could let it out. He didn’t want MJ to be in danger because she knew. It was bad enough that Ned and his aunt were in danger because of it, but other friends? He hated putting them in so much danger. ‘I have to sort this out NOW, ttyl.’

He opened his very brief text conversation with MJ and typed out a quick message. ‘Ned told me you were worried and you knew something super important about me. Can you confirm? Also if you do know r u able to impart some of ur chill wisdom unto me’

‘Sure, Spidey,’ was the only response that came for a few minutes. ‘And I knew because you’re always talking about it in school, dumbnut. Also why tf would you disappear for a day, then there’s Spider-Man out of nowhere, and then u appear, claiming you were at the monument all along’

‘Does anyone else know??’ Aw heck, how did he tell Mr Stark that there were even more people who knew about his ‘secret’ identity? This was getting out of hand and completely out of his control. He had to stop making stupid mistakes.

‘Probably, you’re always talking about it in school and no one can deny some really weird stuff has been happening surrounding you since just before the summer.’ That was not an encouraging response, but he guessed he couldn’t do anything about it. He was sort of relying on people not taking him seriously enough at school, because they’d always dismiss that a ‘girl’ was Spider-MAN.

‘So I fucked up,’ he said.

‘Mind your language, young man,’ MJ sent back, and Peter grinned. ‘Which f*ck up are you referring to?’

‘I ran away bc May found out I was Spider-Man and she doesn’t want me to get hurt,’ he told her. ‘So I haven’t been in school for two weeks.’

‘Really? I hadn’t noticed your conspicuous absence, the missing report on the TV and ‘have you seen this child’ posters that some cock stuck up around school this morning.’ Peter grimaced at that. ‘Seems reasonable. So what changed that made you realise you fucked up?’

‘You’ve abandoned the no swear policy, I see,’ he said. ‘Captain America bought me chicken nuggets and a really big milkshake so I agreed to go live with the Avengers. Black Widow cooked my dinner and it was lasagne also one of his war friends is alive and has a metal arm and I have no explanation for it. Also Iron Man confronted me and told me I have to go home and also that being Spider-Man is illegal.’

‘Your life sounds like a really bad fanfic,’ MJ told him, and Peter knew exactly the kind of thing she was referring to. He’d maybe written some a couple years (weeks) ago. ‘You literally broke a window on the Washington Monument, P, of course it’s illegal. Not that I’m complaining.’

‘I need help. Aunt May wants me to call her but I Can’t. Y’know how I get super anxious about talking to teachers and stuff like that. I feel like that and I don’t think I can sort this out.’

‘Why don’t you want to talk to her?’ MJ posed a good question, one Peter hadn’t really thought about. He didn’t know why he couldn’t talk to the person he was closest to. He just…

‘I don’t want to hurt her, and that’s what happens because I’m Spider-Man. I don’t want her to be hurt, which is another risk of being Spider-Man. But at the same time, I know I can’t stop. This is so important to me. Using whatever happened to me to benefit the lives of others is such a direct way to help people, it’s so obvious. If she tells me to give up being Spider-Man, I might say yes, because I love her, but I won’t be able to hold myself to that resolution.’

‘Your life sux,’ MJ told him, and Peter managed a weak laugh at the words. ‘Just as she has the right to set up boundaries because she’s your guardian and basically your mom, you have the right to respect and she should respect your wishes. Set up from the start of the conversation that you can’t give it up but you’re willing to work around it and compromise with her?’

Peter smiled as he read the text before him. That made so much sense and he had no idea why he hadn’t thought of it before. Well, he hadn’t thought of it because he had no idea how to deal with interpersonal relationships and he had no idea where he stood with adults just about a hundred percent of the time, but that didn’t matter. ‘That’s great advice, thanks MJ.’

‘No probs, but you owe me,’ she said. ‘Also, with being illegal and stuff? You don’t have a formal warning yet and you’re still legally a kid. So go nuts.’

That advice was less good, but he thanked her for it anyway. He put his phone on the desk, pulled the box of tissues closer and dislodged a few, and then he opened up the calling app. He tapped May’s name and her photo came up. It rang only twice before she picked up, and his breath caught in his throat.

“Peter, is that you?”


	9. Phonecall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter talks to his aunt about what happened.

“H-hi, Aunt May,” he managed. “Yeah. It’s- it’s me.”

Aunt May let out a slight sob, and Peter immediately grabbed a tissue. He was going to need this. “You’re safe. You are safe, aren’t you?”

“I’m fine,” he said. He wasn’t fine, but he didn’t want to say that because half of what was not fine involved her. “I’m safe. You could call Mr. Stark if you need to check that I’m safe and I’m not- I don’t know.”

“I’ll be calling him to give him a piece of my mind,” she said, and Peter managed a smile then. He could imagine the angry phone call and the pained look on Tony’s face. “You texted hours ago and I’m yet to hear anything from him.”

“Mmm,” he said, completely unsure of what came next. “I-I’m sorry for worrying you?”

“I should hope so, young man,” she said. She sounded sort of cross but also very upset. “No word at all from you and you’ve been gone for weeks! I had no idea where you were and no one else knew either. We thought you might be-” she was cut off by a choked sob. She thought he might be dead.

“I’m sorry,” he said. He felt like a fool now. He hadn’t realised how upsetting it must have been for Aunt May to be powerless and know that her nephew was out there, upset, and no one could find him. “I really am.”

“It’s okay,” she said. Peter knew it wasn’t okay, but he wasn’t going to argue with her if he could help it. He wanted to save his energy for the news she really wouldn’t want to hear. “We can talk it out when you come home, I think it’ll be easier then.”

“I- can we talk about it first?” He asked. Aunt May sighed on the other side of the phone. “I just- I don’t-” Now he had no idea what to say. MJ had told him almost exactly what he had to say, but he couldn’t remember it anymore. “I want to be Spider-Man.”

“Oh, Peter, you know I can’t…” No. She’d been over all of this already. She couldn’t let him do it because she didn’t want to lose him. He knew that. He knew that, and he didn’t really have an answer to it. It was a good reason and he couldn’t do anything to eliminate that risk, but he knew it was worth it. He just couldn’t explain that.

“It’s my choice too, Aunt May,” he said. “I want- I want to work with- to try- I want to try and be safer and do things that worry you less, but I still have to do this. You know I have to and you know why. The same way I know why you don’t want me to.”

“Peter, please,” she said. “You’re still a child. You know how hard it is for those big shot heroes to do their jobs properly, they have all those laws now. Since you’ve been doing this, you’ve dropped out of having a real life. Being a teenager.”

“This is more important!” He protested. He could feel the lump in his throat getting bigger and he knew that he’d be crying in no time, but he needed May to know how he felt. Before, he hardly got a word in and that was one of the reasons he left. He’d thought about it more now and he knew what he wanted.

“No, Peter, this isn’t more important. You can fight crime when you’re older. But you’re not going to be able to raise your GPA when you get to the end of the year and you haven’t been in school because you’ve been doing this Spider-Man thing.” Hey, his GPA was already trashed, probably. He hadn’t even thought about that before. He cared about it, obviously, he cared a lot, but that didn’t mean he could do anything to change it.

“Please,” he said. “It would- it would be a lot easier if you would support me in this. I really, really want to do this. I want it so badly, and I know it’s hard, but I’m not going to change my mind on it. And if- I think I already- if you want to stop me, you can’t, not really.”

“Peter, I support you in everything,” Aunt May said, and Peter could hear it. He could feel it coming. Adults always got this Tone in their voice when they talked about this. “I supported you when your school wasn't being so great about, you know- the boy thing. I have tried to always be here for you, and I always want to be here for you, as long as I can be. But when it comes to you explicitly putting yourself in danger, I can’t support you.

“It goes against the duty I feel I have towards you as a caregiver. I understand that you want to do this, and I understand why. Who couldn’t? I’m also proud of you for what you want to do, what you’re willing to sacrifice to do it. I am endlessly proud of you and I’m happy that I managed to raise you in a way that meant you want to do this.

“But the fact remains that I can’t let you. I will support you through all the hardships you’ve been through, but knowing that you’ve suffered, and knowing that you might suffer further? I can’t just let you swing around New York with that on my conscience.”

Peter wanted to interrupt her. He wanted to stop her. He knew she was right, of course. He understood why she felt that way, and...they just weren’t compatible. Their views didn’t match up and he didn’t think they could because neither of them would concede.

He was crying. He was crying and he wouldn’t be able to say another word. He could feel it in his throat, in his mind, in the feeling in his chest. He opened his mouth to just say goodbye, or that he loved her, or something, but he couldn’t. He just ended the call.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and tried to slow his breathing a little. That was awful. That had gone so badly. He had no idea that it even could go so badly. It wasn’t fair. He’d prepared, he got advice, he even said what he wanted to say at first and it came out mostly right and he’d apologised to Aunt May, but it just hadn’t worked. It wasn’t fair.

His phone buzzed again, and when he managed to turn it on with fumbling hands, it was a text from his aunt. Suddenly incredibly frustrated, he threw his phone across the room. Thankfully, it landed on his bed, but he honestly didn’t feel much better. At least his phone hopefully wasn’t going to bother him for a little while.

Why had he even called her? He should have known that it wouldn’t go well. No social interaction he ever attempted went as he wanted it to. Fifteen years of life and he still hadn’t figured that one out, apparently. She didn’t understand. And even if she did understand, she wasn’t interested in letting him do what he wanted.

He did know why she didn’t want him to be Spider-Man, he just thought… She was right; she’d supported him all the time before, even when she didn’t really know all that much about what she was supporting him through. She’d even supported him through being Spider-Man without her even knowing that that’s what the problem was. She supported him being himself even when people threatened or demeaned him. But she couldn’t support him in this and even though she’d done so much for him before it just felt like betrayal and-

The door opened, and he jumped, ending up stuck on the wall. “Sorry, Peter,” Clint said, his voice soft, and then he closed the door behind him. “You can get down from the wall. Just wanted to check if you were okay, you know?”

Peter just shook his head and detached himself from the wall. He would explain to Clint, but he very much doubted the man understood any sign language and his hands were too shaky to explain in writing, and they hurt in that way they did when he was upset that meant he couldn’t deal with the pressure on his fingers with the coordination of writing.

“FRIDAY told me you were upset,” Clint said. “She’s the lady in the computers and security system and stuff. I thought you might appreciate some company or comfort or something.” He moved slowly across the room before sitting on the bed, gently moving the phone closer to Peter’s phone before he awkwardly motioned to the spot next to him on the bed. “You call your aunt?”

Peter nodded, perching on the very edge of the bed. “I’m guessing that didn’t go too great. But you got to speak to her, say a couple things you were thinking?” Peter nodded again. “Well, you tried. I know you probably left there for a good reason, because you’re a smart kid and it seems like you have good reasons for everything. This is a pretty complex problem you’ve got here.”

Peter just nodded again. “I get if you don’t want to or can’t talk about it,” Clint said. “I wasn’t a particularly verbal kid. Or a verbal adult, come to think of it. Know any sign language?”

Peter nodded, but the truth was he barely knew more than a couple of phrases he was taught when he was really little. He held his thumb and forefinger close together in an attempt to show that, and Clint nodded. ‘I can’t speak at the moment,’ he signed, and Clint nodded again.

“That’s rough,” he said. “It’s upsetting when people you look up to don’t see things your way, but I guess it’s part of life. I’m not trying to trump you because I know it won’t make you feel any better, but my big brother tried to kill me once. Not nice. And this is nothing like what you’re going through- ugh, just ignore this.” He laughed, and Peter managed to smile. “Do you want a hug? And, uh, support, I guess. You must feel pretty out of your depth and pressured here.”

Peter nodded, and Clint put an arm round his shoulder. “I bet Cap’s already said it, but you’re welcome here as long as you like, no matter what Tony says. No matter what anyone says, you have choices, and though they’re not easy choices to make, you have time to make them. And, most importantly, they’re your choices to make, not anyone else’s.”

‘Thank you,’ Peter signed, and Clint pulled him closer, rubbing his back until he managed to stop crying and collect himself again. It was nice to have someone on his side.


	10. School Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter talks to another Avenger about school and his options.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, everyone! I meant to get an extra chapter out a couple of days ago to explain, but I just had my birthday (17th) and my partner came to stay for a couple of days so I didn't do much writing.

The next day, Peter woke up at about nine in the morning. The room was dark, and he was so comfortable it didn’t feel real for a moment. It was his second time waking up here, but this time was a little more jarring as he wasn’t quite so out of it. It took him a few moments to remember last night, with Clint giving him a last hug before he put his phone on charge and wished him goodnight. Peter remembered being unable to contain his happiness, flapping a little at the sheer amazingness (was that a word?) of Actual Hawkeye Hugging Him. Soon after, he’d managed to get to sleep.

He looked at the pile of clothes in front of him. He should probably put some of those away at some point, that could be a task for today. In an attempt to seem both grateful and not exploitative, he changed his shirt but kept his pants the same, noting for a moment how utterly gross his binder was. He’d have to wash it at some point, but fuck, when was there a point that he could either not leave his room or just leave his room when no one was around? It felt like he was living in a hotel, sort of, which was like a public place, and he couldn’t go anywhere in public without a binder.

Why was life so complicated and why were there so many social rules he had to learn? Well, he had to wash it at some point, but he didn’t feel confident enough for that yet. He braced himself for any possible social interaction and left his room to go and get breakfast. He hoped they didn’t have some kind of communal breakfast time he’d missed, though, that would be embarrassing.

There was no one in the kitchen when he got down there, so Peter tentatively wandered over to the fridge. He was a big eater, but mornings at home (was it home anymore? He didn’t want to think about that) were always very early and he never ate much. Now, though, he was starving, but at the same time he didn’t want to take anything that belonged to someone else. Abandoning the fridge, he grabbed a single cereal bar from a cupboard and a couple of apples from the full fruit bowl that sat next to the sink. That should be safe, right?

Five minutes later, he sat down at the table, trying to pretend he hadn’t just spent five minutes looking for a plate of the right size because there were so many cupboards and different sizes and everything in this kitchen that it honestly made him nervous. The house was really quiet, he realised after a moment, which was strange. Maybe most of the rooms had soundproofing, but he could barely hear any signs of activity. All he could hear was a series of dull thuds, which could be anything.

Unsure of what to do, especially because he didn’t want to walk in on anything Avengers-y that he wasn’t meant to see because he wasn’t an Avenger, he returned to his room after finishing his breakfast and washing up his plate. He had no idea what he was actually meant to be doing here, because he doubted they were expecting him to just sleep all the time until he was magically ‘better’. He wished it worked like that, and if it did he would always get a full night of sleep.

He sat on his phone for a bit. This was boring. There were no Avengers in today to talk to Ned about and he didn’t really want to talk about how Hawkeye had held him while he cried. That seemed a little bit personal to tell anyone, even his best friend. He didn’t really want to talk about that argument with Aunt May, at least not for now. He was still upset about it.

After about an hour, there was a soft knock on his door. “Peter, may I come in?” He quickly recognised the voice as Wanda’s, so he nodded. And then he remembered that Wanda couldn’t see him. He sat up, trying to look like he hadn’t just been lazing around and playing on his phone, and then he called to say she could come in.

A moment later, Wanda stepped into the room. She looked distinctly less intimidating than before, which was great, because Peter wasn’t sure he could spend extended periods of time with someone he was very scared of. “Uh, hi,” he said, hoping he didn’t look like a terrified idiot.

“How’s your day been so far?” She asked. She looked like she wanted to say something, but this was definitely just small talk. She moved slightly stiffly over to his desk chair, but she didn’t sit down.

“You can, um, you can sit down,” he said. “It’s, uh, it’s been good? I haven’t really done anything. Um. Ate food. The cereal bars don’t belong to anyone, right? Do I have to buy sixty dollar cereal bars for Mr. Stark now?”

“I’m sure you’re allowed to eat food,” she said. “Isn’t there anything in here? Oh, you don’t have books. I suppose I’d collected a few things by the time I made it here. You can- never mind. I don’t know if you’re- I’m going to start again now.”

“Okay,” he said with a slightly nervous laugh. It was sort of nice to see someone else being a bit awkward though, he’d been very worried that he had ended up in a mansion with a whole group of people who were incredibly eloquent.

“I think I should be more direct,” she said, and Peter felt a small wave of nervousness hit him again. It was probably lecture time. Or maybe unnecessary advice time. “I wanted to talk about school. Because, well, it’s important, and I know you’re not- you don’t want to go back?”

Peter nodded. He didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know what Wanda was looking for, and he felt like a lecture was probably coming anyway. Maybe Wanda had even been assigned this task because she was younger than the other Avengers, closer to school age and possibly more able to understand what he was going through. As if.

“I haven’t been to school since I was twelve, I think,” she said, and Peter looked up from where he was fiddling with his hands in his lap. “By fourteen, I was a resistance fighter, practically a soldier, and by seventeen, there was...I was with HYDRA.”

He could tell what was coming now. Don’t waste it, she’d tell him. Don’t waste your childhood. The problem was that his childhood had already been wasted, and it wasn’t entirely because he was Spider-Man. And the convictions of others wouldn’t be able to kill the anxiety pooling in his chest and stomach. “Why couldn’t you go to school?” He asked, hoping that would deflect the oncoming lecture.

“When there are Russians standing outside your school with guns, you do not go inside,” she said with a slightly bitter laugh. “They were there to watch our teachers, so they couldn’t tell us to resist. It didn’t work.”

“Did you get to- did you get to do any more education, um, when you got here?” He asked. He vaguely remembered that Wanda had really complicated legal issues with living in America, it had been mentioned on TV and it was a big thing online. He had no idea if it had ever been resolved. “Are you, um, allowed?”

Wanda laughed. “Even if I wasn’t allowed and I didn’t want to, Tony would find a way to work around it. I’m sure he’s already given you the lecture, but he’s not going to let you go without an education. So I’m not here to give you that lecture again, I know it doesn’t help anything.”

Peter nodded. He was sort of surprised, really, because everyone seemed to want to give him lectures at the moment about what he should and shouldn’t do, like he couldn’t decide for himself. Well, he couldn’t decide yet, but that wasn’t the point. He’d get round to it eventually.

“I’m distance studying at the moment,” she said. “Sociology, at the University of Florida. And I have a GED. I did try going to college locally, but I couldn’t do it. All those people, and everyone had expectations of me that I didn’t understand. My identity isn’t well known, it isn’t constantly talked about, but there was an ongoing citizenship argument when I was about to start.

“It was hard. There was still- Sokovia was still in the news daily. I was trying to puzzle my way through classes when I’d never spoken that much English in my life before. Everyone wanted to know about me, and there was only so much I could say without giving myself away. The government hadn’t decided if they were taking Sokovian refugees yet.”

Peter nodded. His life was nothing like that, but he sort of understood what she was getting at. “It’s hard when you have extra complications with school,” he said. “I always felt like being Spider-Man was way more important.”

“Being yourself is the most important thing,” she said immediately. “You’re allowed to be a person outside of Spider-Man, you’re allowed to have a life. But I see what you mean, and that life doesn’t have to prevent you from being Spider-Man. You should be able to be both. If attending school interferes with that balance, or even if you feel like you can’t do it because of the way others see you, I don’t think you should have to, and I’m willing to support anything else you decide to do.”

“I- thanks,” he managed. It was definitely a lecture, but it was one he could get behind the sentiment of. “School is just- I know you never attended high school or anything, but it’s really bad. I know plenty of people can cope with it, but I can’t, at least not at the moment. I’ve had lots of stuff go down in my private life recently, and school is stressful anyway. It’s really hard to explain, but I don’t want to go back. But at the same time, I don’t want to completely close that door or anything, it’s a really good school-”

“You don’t need to worry about it at the moment,” Wanda said, cutting him off and wheeling the chair a little closer. “This is your time for you to worry about yourself, Peter. Do stuff you’re interested in, and things you enjoy. Take time for yourself that you’re not able to have at home. It’s strange, suddenly being taken out of the order and routine of a life that used to just be dictated for you, but make what you can of it.”

“Thanks,” he said again. He didn’t know what else to say. She was being so nice and understanding and he didn’t really know how to respond to it. Was she looking for him to say anything in particular? Was she going to keep talking? He didn’t know.

“And I’m just trying to say- you can tell I planned this all before right? If you don’t want to talk to people, or don’t want to be around people, I understand. People are exhausting and it’s hard to know how to deal with them, especially when it’s these guys and they’re sort of hard to understand sometimes.” Peter definitely understood what she meant there.

“I feel sort of like they’re all judging me,” he said. “I’ve looked up to loads of them for a really long time, did you know that the attack on New York happened when I was seven? And now they’re just, you know, sitting there and eating lasagne with me. And taking bad selfies on my phone.”

Wanda laughed. “It’s been a couple of years since I moved here now, and I haven’t got used to Vision walking through things or appearing out of nowhere. I’ve only met Thor a handful of times, too, and he doesn’t get less strange. But they’re nice, all of them, and they’re not against you in any way. I wanted to kill them the first time they met me.”

“Wait, what?” He inched away from her slightly. “Really?”

“Oh, definitely,” she said. “But that’s a very complicated thing to explain and I’m pretty hungry. Most people will be gathering for lunch about now, do you want to go down and eat?”

“I, um, sure?” He replied. He wasn’t exactly sure what kind of conclusion had been reached from that conversation, but he was smiling and maybe they were sort of friends. At the very least, Wanda understood, and that was a really nice feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up a bunch of stuff for Wanda in this chapter. She's my second favourite Avenger, but she's vastly under-represented in the films so there are lots of things missing about her, honestly. I'm going to attempt to address it a little in the background, but I'm def planning on maybe writing a couple of things about her in the future.
> 
> From now (11th August) until mid September I'm aiming for updates once every two days! This is because I have summer homework. If the fic isn't completed by then, I'll have to reevaluate once I get back to school because this year is going to be very important and school has to take priority.


	11. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter trains with Sam after dinner.

“Peter, do you want to join me for some training after dinner?” Sam asked the question at dinner and honestly Peter was just floored for a moment. Training. Doing cool stuff. With a Real Avenger. A real one. Doing something with an Avenger was an absolute dream come true and honestly he was freaking out internally so much that he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Yeah!” He said, and it definitely came out too loud. He clapped his hand over his mouth. Everyone was looking at him, and he sank down a little in his chair. Ah, he was so embarrassed. “I mean, um, yes, sure, that’s, uh, okay.”

“How do you make that web shooter stuff?” Sam asked. “Also, do you stick to things naturally?”

“I’m, um, I’m nearly out of web shooter fluid,” he said. He’d been saving his final four cartridges for emergencies. “And yes. It’s, um, really hard to explain how it happens. I don’t stick to things, exactly, I just have really good grip, so sticking to flat surfaces is really hard.”

“I will confess I thought it was organic,” Vision said, and a couple of the other Avengers nodded. “Why else would you choose Spider-Man as a moniker?”

“I thought it would be really cool,” he said.

“He was fourteen,” Tony said, like that explained anything, and before Peter could say anything in his defence, everyone else nodded. “I can give you some more web, but I don’t have all that much stockpiled so don’t go overboard.” Peter nodded his thanks.

“I thought I could test how quickly you could move,” Sam said. “I fly, obviously, but how quickly can you move? I thought we could test it by us chasing each other around the flight agility thing outside. You think you can do that?”

“I could, definitely,” he said, but internally the answer was maybe. There was definitely a possibility that he wasn’t anywhere near back to full strength yet, especially as he’d only been here one full day (it felt like so much longer), and there was a good chance that even when he was at full strength he wasn’t better than Sam anyway. Sam was a Real Avenger, and he was just...Avenger Lite, with bonus incompetence.

“I want to see Sam get his arse kicked,” Tony said.

“Language.” It was more like a chorus than anything else when almost everyone around the table spoke while Steve hid his face in his hands. Peter guessed it was a running joke, and he couldn’t wait to tell Ned about it. The Avengers tell each other off for swearing. That was just pure gold.

“Mind your language around the kid,” Bucky said, a definite wry grin forming on his face. “Kids remember that kind of thing, especially from, y’know, father figures.”

Tony choked on the piece of broccoli in his mouth. “I’m much too young to be a father figure,” he said, and Peter could practically hear six pairs of eyes being rolled in unison.

“Too alive to be my dad,” he muttered, forgetting that there were other enhanced people in the room until Steve started laughing. “My dad would be thirty five, Mr. Stark.” Tony just scowled at his words.

“Peter makes me feel old,” Natasha complained. “I’m not old enough to be the parent of a teenager.” Peter was definitely too scared of her to inform her that she was in fact old enough to be the parent of a teenager.

“Peter’s here to counteract the average age increase from our resident popsicles,” Clint said. “He’s not here to make you feel old, Nat, he’s here to make old people feel old.” Bucky scoffed, and Peter saw him smile at Steve. Again, he wondered how another guy who supposedly died in World War II was suddenly alive, but he probably shouldn’t ask. It hadn’t been explained yet, so he was probably meant to know.

-

Later that evening, Peter was back in his suit for the first time since he’d arrived at the Avengers’ facility. Though he could easily do it without, Sam was in his ‘suit’ and he felt like he deserved the benefits that came from his suit too.

He was standing in front of a field which was filled with a bunch of raised columns that looked like they were made of stone. They vaguely resembled buildings in a city, but they were much smaller. “It’s for us to practise flying close to the ground in tight spaces,” Sam explained, “and sometimes stuff to do with fighting around tight corners and with obstacles.”

“I’ll race you to the end!” Peter called, knowing he needed the head start to win this one. Before Sam could even register what he’d said, he reached out with his left arm and shot a web to a ‘building’ a short distance away. He took a running leap and then he was off.

It was always hard to build momentum from the ground, but he’d managed to judge his leap just right and he managed to catch the next building, and then the next. He had no idea if Sam was following or if he just looked like a fool, and then-

The moment he’d taken his mind off his actions, he misjudged his next swing. He was much closer to the ground than he was used to, especially at this speed, and his feet slammed into the ground as he hit the inflection of the curve. He tripped, and then he sprawled on the ground, his right arm stretched upwards because his next shot of web had hit the next pillar.

Oops.

He tried to ignore that the others were laughing at him when he got up, but he didn’t exactly know what to do. A brief glance in the direction of his destination told him that he had lost the race. So what did he do now? He would look like a complete loser no matter what he did, and that was because he was a complete loser. He’d misjudged that completely, and frick his face hurt. He’d quite possibly broken a toe, too. That happened a lot, but they fixed themselves quickly.

Thankfully, Sam came back over before he had to embarrass himself by making a decision as to what to do next. “You okay, kid?” He asked, holding out a hand to help him up, which he gladly took (his hand had touched an Avenger’s hand!). “Bit lower than you’re used to? Don’t worry, I’ve busted at least two pairs of these things during this kind of training.”

“Well we can’t reinforce his face with titanium!” Tony called from where he was standing with the others, just outside the facility. “Be careful with him, Falco!”

Sam scoffed and turned back to Peter. “You didn’t break anything, did you?” He asked.

“Not that I can feel,” he lied, ignoring the pain in his left toes. He’d definitely done something to those, but he didn’t want to back down after a single, minor defeat. Trying to distract Sam from the possibility of his injury, he smiled (though he guessed no one could see it). “Hey, Sam, can you do a barrel roll?”

Sam groaned, gently shoving him and flying up to a top of a ‘building’ near them before he started to explain the next game. Peter didn’t get a barrel roll out of him, but he did get to play tag (with an Avenger!) and then they had a small lesson about landing properly. His feet were killing, but he hadn’t grinned this much in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long! I ended up on holiday without signal or wifi for several days. But, I got my AS level results, and I got an A in both the subjects I took this year! I'm really happy about it and I can finally get excited about next year and applying for uni.


	12. School Stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter talks to Tony and makes some decisions on school.

On Peter’s way up the stairs to his room, he encountered Tony, who was on his way down. He quickly tried to disguise his slight favouring of one foot, not wanting Tony to see that he’d hurt himself and then continued to train. That would not go down well, he could just tell. “Ah Peter, I wanted to talk to you quickly,” he said. Peter nodded, but Tony was already turning around to follow him to his room.

“Uh, okay, sure?” He said, not sure where to go when he got in. Should he stand? Should he sit on the bed, or the chair? What should he do?

“Relax. I’m going to try not to lecture you like last time,” he said. “It made me feel old, and I’m not old enough to feel old yet.” Tony moved over to the desk chair and sat on it, leaving Peter standing awkwardly next to the bed. “Just wanted to know how you were getting on, if you’d made any decisions or even had any thoughts.”

“I called my aunt,” he said immediately. “She- we argued again. I did try to sort it out though, I swear.” Tony said he wasn’t there to lecture, but that was no guarantee considering what had been said.

“Can you just tell me a bit about what the problem is?” The effect of his serious tone was lessened slightly by Tony spinning on the desk chair. “I can’t sort anything out unless I know what’s going on, what’s being said, all of that.”

“She just said she couldn’t let me be Spider-Man,” he said, and Tony sighed. Peter knew that the issue was complex, Tony had told him as much before. Technically, he couldn’t be Spider-Man. It was sort of illegal and if it turned out that the Avengers had been encouraging a fifteen year old to put himself in danger, it wouldn’t be good.

“You know what I’ve said about that,” he said. “Do you think there’s any way we can mediate something so you two can come to an agreement? Presuming that you, ah, want to. I suppose you might not.”

“I want to go home, sort of,” he said. It was complicated, because he wanted to go home so he could see his aunt every day and have all his stuff from home. But he didn’t want to go back to school, and he didn’t want to continue to live a double life. He wanted Aunt May to be happy about what he was doing, and to help him be safe and not feel as pressured all the time, and afraid of what could happen if people found out.

“But you don’t want to?” Tony asked. Peter nodded.

“I don’t think I can,” he said. “I think the differences in our opinions can’t mix...I want to go home, but only if we can agree. And I don’t think we can.”

“That’s okay for now,” Tony said. “Time changes things, I can tell you that for certain, and she’s family. I know you get along with your aunt much better than I ever got on with my parents, and I think you’ll be willing to make compromises together in the end.”

“I hope so,” he said. “I’m fine with it, I just guess that the compromise she wants me to make is the only one I won’t make…”

“Don’t worry about your aunt for now, kid, think about other things. Wanda said she talked to you about school, but she wouldn’t say what you said?” Peter smiled at that. He had been a tiny bit afraid that if he said anything, the Avengers would just tell each other. Like teachers told each other stuff about their students so they could keep them safe or whatever.

“We talked about online schooling and stuff,” he said. “I um- thought I could maybe do something like that for now. So I don’t get bored and stuff? I just, I really don’t want to go back to school, not that school anyway, and I can’t explain it.”

“That’s fine, and easily sorted,” Tony said. “I can get you a laptop if you want one. No porn though, okay? FRIDAY can see that kind of thing and I want her to stay innocent.” Peter snorted. As if he spent his time watching porn.

“N-no, Mr. Stark, I don’t need anything like that!” He didn’t really object to being given free stuff, not at all, but he did feel bad for needing so much stuff and refusing to go home when he technically could.

“Yes you do, kid,” he said. “I’ve seen the stuff you have at home. And your phone is an utter travesty, honestly. Let me give you free tech, I’ll put it on my CAF. It’s a win-win situation. You get free stuff, I get tax reductions, and Pepper doesn’t kill me when she finds out that I’m housing a homeless kid and he’s not going to school.”

Peter smiled. That was one way to put it, and he did want to be able to do online schooling. Or maybe he could get the work he was missing from his teachers and do that so his GPA didn’t go entirely to shit. “Does Miss Potts not know about me being here yet?”

“She’s off in London for a business conference at the moment,” Tony said. “She’ll be back soonish, but I haven’t mentioned it to her. Strictly, it’s not Avengers business, so she doesn’t need to know about it. Don’t worry about it or anything like that. I know how kids these days like to worry.”

“I’ll try not to,” he said, already worrying about the possibility of Miss Potts kicking him out because of all the possible legal implications of him being there. As far as he knew, Stark Industries paid for most of the stuff that got damaged by the Avengers, and that included any legal fees. Peter hoped that he wasn’t going to get sued for being Spider-Man.

“Good. You stay here, I’ll be back as soon as I can find something you can use.” With that, Tony wheeled the desk chair over to the door and down the hall. A few moments later, there was a loud clatter and the sound of someone swearing.

“Mr. Parker, if you wish to retrieve your chair, it is at the base of the stairs down the hallway from your room.”

-

To: Ne(r)d Leeds  
Subject: School Shiz  
Hey dude can you send me the homework and stuff that I missed? And classwork tbh. Everything. Mr Stark got me a rad laptop and I’m gonna try and catch up.

To: Peter Starker  
Subject: School Shit (let! peter! parker! swear!)  
Dude that’s so rad gimme all the deets on the specs how would I hack it  
Also sure, do you want me to tell the teachers that you’re gonna do it? Then they might email stuff straight to you  
You’ve missed so much at school, they did some ‘has anyone seen Peter’ thing in the main hall but I couldn’t say you’d texted me bc secrets  
Does this mean you’re coming back to school soonish?

To: Ne(r)d Leeds  
Subject: School STUFF  
Thanks dude, but prob not :( kinda worried about how people are gonna treat me + stuff, also you know I Hate school  
(I’ll see if you can come visit some time over Christmas if I decide not to come back?)

To: Peter Starker  
Subject: jdbsohabkdcbksjcxhbkcg  
DUDE PLEASE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed, if you're a returning reader, that there is no longer a /? on chapter number! This is because I plotted out to the end of the fic. Sad times :( but we're only half done!


	13. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter has a nightmare, and Steve helps.

Everyone was whispering all around him, but they weren’t whispering exactly, they were shouting, but it sounded like whispering. Peter couldn’t hear what they were saying, just the vague shape and the noise, like someone was standing too far away and he couldn’t piece it together from their mouth to what was reaching his ears. But he knew the kinds of things they were saying.

There were posters plastered all over the walls like usual, and all over the lockers, which wasn’t usual. Someone had scratched all over his locker with car keys, but when he managed to get to his locker (he didn’t know how; people were pressing in on him at all sides but he made it. He didn’t even know what he was looking for) he could still see what they said. It was the front of the newspaper.

Someone had found out who he was. Who Spider-Man was. And they had proof. Maybe someone he knew had told someone who could get it out there. And now everyone knew, everyone knew and that was bad that was so bad. People were pressing in everywhere but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t touch them to get away because he’d lose control of the weird strength that came with this and then someone would get hurt and they’d all blame him.

They never blamed Flash. Now Flash was shouting at him, pushing him in the chest, taunting him, telling him he was- he couldn’t hear it, but he knew it was bad. It was so close, he was so close, and he couldn’t do anything. His heartbeat was so fast in his chest. Flash was kicking him in the back of the chair he was sitting in. He was in front of the principal, who was saying something. He didn’t know what, until he did.

He was calling Aunt May to tell her that he would have to leave. They couldn’t have Spider-Man here, it was too dangerous for the other students. His abilities meant he was inhumanly fast so he couldn’t take exams anyway. His biology meant he was cheating. He wouldn’t ever go to college because the SAT was unfair, and he couldn’t ever come back to school.

Aunt May told him he couldn’t come home because he was putting them both in danger. She said he had to be on his own, or more people would die just like Uncle Ben had. When he fought people they were always the wrong people, and when he protected people? Well, he couldn’t exactly do that, could he.

And then he was leaving and he could hear that sickening crack of stone crumbling all around him and he’d failed he’d failed there were people inside, he was inside, and he was trapped under so much stone and he could hear people screaming around him, screaming until-

He woke up. He woke up in the dark but he could feel the walls pressing in, he could feel dust in his lungs and pressure on his back and he was crying. He was crying, but it had all been fake. He was crying. He couldn’t slow his breathing, he couldn’t stop, his chest was heaving and it hurt but he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop it.

“Mr. Parker, I would recommend that you get out of bed and walk around.” FRIDAY’s voice was much quieter than normal, but it was still very loud. Peter winced when she spoke. “Seeing familiar sights and getting out of bed will help draw you to reality and distract you from nightmares. Additionally, Captain Rogers is currently in the communal kitchen and he will likely make hot chocolate if you approach him.”

“I- okay, FRIDAY.” After a few moments of lying there debating whether he should follow her advice or not, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of the walls closing in, so he got out of bed. He pulled his new (very lame) Hulk slippers on, feeling a little embarrassed. But hey, it was better that than having cold feet, right? (Actually, he liked the slippers. They were really fluffy.)

Trying to be as quiet as possible, he crept down the hallway. Everyone else was presumably asleep, he hadn’t checked the time, and he didn’t want to wake them up. He couldn’t imagine what scary assassins would be like if he woke them up, but he imagined they didn’t exactly react well. He didn’t want to think about it, actually. There were stairs nearby. He could definitely get pushed down those.

As he got closer to the kitchen, he could hear someone moving around. “Steve?” His voice came out higher than he wanted it to and he winced slightly at how loud it was even though he’d tried to be as quiet as possible.

“Hey Peter.” Steve turned around and smiled at him. “FRIDAY said you might come down. Did you have a nightmare or something?”

“Yeah,” he said. “The normal stuff, though. I’ll be fine in a bit, just didn’t think I could get back to sleep.”

“That’s good,” he said. “Still, do you want something to drink? Anything caffeinated is off limits at this time of night, but I can get you some hot chocolate.” Peter was about to open his mouth to decline when Steve spoke again. “I’m making some for myself, so don’t worry. It’s no bother.”

“Thanks,” Peter said, going to sit on a stool at the island in the kitchen. He watched as Steve moved around the kitchen, grabbing milk and sugar and some very fancy looking chocolate stuff.

“You know, lots of people have problems sleeping when they’ve seen terrible things,” Steve said. Peter wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about this, but Steve was making him hot chocolate so he couldn’t complain. “Honestly? I usually have more company than this.”

“I get them sometimes,” he admitted. “It’s strange I haven’t had any until now, really. They’ve been happening a lot since stuff started going on.”

“Nothing wrong with that if you still get the sleep you need,” Steve said. Peter thought it probably wasn’t a good idea to mention that because he stayed out late doing Spider-Man stuff so often, he never got enough sleep. “Let someone know if you’re finding it hard to get eight hours a night.”

“I’m usually okay,” he said. “I sleep a lot more now. I used to get super bad insomnia, but since the spider stuff happened I’ve been sleeping like a log. It’s nice, I guess?”

“I’ve always had trouble sleeping,” Steve said. “I’m up at this time most nights. Before everything happened, I was up all night because I was finding it hard to breathe, or because I was ill with something and felt too crap to sleep. Now? Well, I slept for so long under that ice that now I just don’t. Can’t work out if it’s biologically because I no longer need sleep or because my mind won’t let me, you know? But I do okay.”

Peter nodded. Honestly, he didn’t know what to say. That was way deeper than he could deal with and also way more personal. He couldn’t tell Ned something like that, something trusted to him in the dead of night. He was just told super personal information about Captain America and wow that was cool actually.

“Here you go, one hot chocolate for Peter Parker.” Steve smiled. “I had a job in a cafe once, walking drinks from the counter to people sitting in their chairs. It didn’t last long, I got into a fight with my boss about segregation.”

“Wait, really?” Peter grinned over the rim of his mug, preferring to let the drink cool a little first. “I’ve spent half my middle school life telling racists that you’re not anything like them.” Oh wow, that was cool and that was definitely something he was going to tell Ned as soon as he got the chance.

“Really,” he said with a smile, sitting down opposite him. They drank in silence for a few minutes, and Peter suddenly realised that he’d been able to relax. The building wasn’t trying to crush him anymore and he didn’t feel on the edge of tears. This was actually nice.

“I- Peter, I don’t want to presume anything or offend you or anything like that, so just stop me if you don’t want to answer the question, but.” This sounded like it was going to end badly. Peter took a short breath in and then took another sip of hot chocolate. “Are you- oh god I’m going to get the wrong word now and sound like I’m eighty years old. I mean I am, but- are you transgender?”

Peter felt like his breathing had stopped. So much for being relaxed. “I, yeah,” he squeaked.

“Okay,” Steve said. “I hadn’t realised, but you- oh, this sounds so bad.” It was slightly hilarious how awkward he was being here. “I never noticed that you- have a chest?” His voice was almost as high as Peter’s last statement when he said that, and Peter could only grin.

His nervousness was gone in an instant, replaced only by the remnants of it and a lot of happiness. Steve had...actually thought he was a man? Wow. That was honestly amazing. That was So Great. Peter had to put his mug down to avoid spilling the hot chocolate everywhere because suddenly his hands were all over the place. “Did you just not know?” Hadn’t Tony mentioned it to them?

“No, not at all.” Steve smiled. “I very much thought you were just a bit of a late bloomer. When I was your age, half of the people I knew hadn’t hit puberty. Malnourishment at its finest.” Tony hadn’t mentioned to the other Avengers that he was trans. He’d just...not mentioned it. He felt like he didn’t need to, he felt like it wasn’t even important.

This was the best moment of Peter’s life. He was sort of used to walking into a classroom for the first time and finding that everyone had just received a full rundown of his medical history. So this change was...surprisingly freeing. They didn’t know, and they didn’t have to know and he had the power to tell people first. Wow.

Peter went back up to bed immeasurably happy. He’d passed to Captain Hecking America for several days. When he had been feeling awful. He’d passed, but best of all, the knowledge of him being trans had been left entirely in his hands. He’d never felt so accepted in his life, and it was absolutely amazing to feel it now.

He went to sleep happy, and there were no more nightmares that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a scene that's been planned from fairly early on in the fic, actually! This particular situation with Steve being like 'wait I didn't realise' was something that just came into my head and I HAD to write it.
> 
> In personal news, I applied for a scholarship recently! Fingers crossed I get invited to audition.


	14. Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's someone new at the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *quietly slides this chapter in, ignoring the unexplained hiatus* Well, I'm back! It's been a wild ride for this term of school. Long story short, I applied to a competitive uni and had no time this term to write this bc a game I played seized my heart and I had to write...a novel length fanfic for it.

Peter slept well that night and only woke up at about ten in the morning. After grabbing a quick breakfast, he sat down at the new laptop to do school work for the first time in weeks. It was easier than he’d thought to get back into it, though there was an utter mountain of work he’d received from teachers already that he’d need to do pretty soon if he wanted them to be less mad at him. He really needed to sort through it all, but that could wait.

He finished some Math, and after he’d texted Ned a few times about how cool Captain America was in real life, he went down to get some lunch because he knew most of the group would be there at that point.

The only thing was? There was someone new there too. And Peter very nearly died of excitement when he walked in.

Bruce Banner. Bruce mother fricking Banner was sitting in the kitchen. Just at the table. Eating a sandwich. What the heck was his life, honestly, this was unreal. But just like with Bucky, Peter didn’t want to act like it was weird if no one else thought it was weird, because then he would be the person who looked weird. So he made a sandwich and sat down, trying not to glance at Dr. Banner every three seconds (he succeed, because he looked at him about once every eight seconds instead).

The sandwich was cress. Peter noticed it pretty quickly and god. He was so embarrassed right now. This was Bruce Banner right in front of him and he...he was right there and Peter couldn’t quite process that fact. And he was just sitting there, basically ignoring him. This was amazing. And also a tad unnerving.

When Dr. Banner finished his sandwich, he looked directly at Peter, who was still staring at him. He hadn’t really been able to stop. It was so bizarre and surreal that he had to keep looking in case he just disappeared, or Peter discovered it was a dream again. “I think an introduction is needed,” Bruce said. “And perhaps an explanation as to why there’s a kid sitting here?”

“Tony’s illegitimate heir,” Clint said immediately, and Bruce coughed, looking rather alarmed. Peter was more worried about how Dr. Banner apparently found that story plausible. He hoped it wasn’t believable that he could be Tony’s son, because that was slightly scary.

“Excuse me?” He said, and half the people sitting at the table just burst out laughing. “Who is he, really? Is he one of yours that we missed before, Clint?”

“Nope, I still have three,” Clint said, “and none of them are Parker’s age.” Peter was very aware that Bruce’s eyes were on him now, looking for an explanation, and he didn’t really know how to phrase it. ‘Yeah my name is Peter I was bitten by a radioactive spider but had a mental health crisis so now I’m living here’ didn’t exactly have a good ring to it and it wouldn’t be a good first impression, either.

“So, who are you really?” He asked. He looked slightly concerned, which was probably something to do with the fact that there was a teenager he didn’t recognise in a house with a bunch of people whose job was literally saving the world.

“It’s a long story, but in short, I was bitten by a mutated spider or something of the sort and tried to become a superhero by wearing goggles and a onesie,” he said. It was embarrassing when he saw the footage of all that, but it wasn’t like he could deny it. It was out there for everyone to see if they looked for Spider-Man online. “Mr. Stark gave me a hand and I did a couple favours for him, but I guess I ran into some hard times recently? I’m working on it.”

“He’s staying here for the time being,” Tony explained. “He’s not my kid, never fear Brucey. At least, I don’t think he is.”

“I could be,” Peter said with a grin, and Tony turned to look at him. “My mum mentioned once…” He looked alarmed, and Peter’s grin spread. “...that she had never met you before in her life.” Clint snorted.

“You almost gave me a heart attack, kid,” Tony said. “Anyway, at the moment for Petey it’s here or out on the street, and I’d rather he be here, obviously. Less chance of a literal kid being mugged on the street while wearing my tech if he’s...not on the street.”

Bruce frowned at Peter, and he got the distinct feeling that he was being scrutinised. “How old are you?” He asked.

“Sixteen in April,” he said, and Dr. Banner only frowned more at that.

“So you’re fifteen?” There was definite judgement being passed right now, and Peter was pretty sure it was directed at the other members of the Avengers. “Who on earth would recruit a fifteen year old to a dangerous organisation?”

“Peter isn’t part of the Avengers in any way, he’s too young,” Tony said, clearly pretending he hadn’t asked Peter to be a part of the Avengers only very recently. “When I first approached him about stuff I didn’t know his identity, seeing as he practically ran into the middle of a sticky situation wearing a hoodie and a mask.”

Bruce hummed thoughtfully, but he eventually seemed to accept the excuse. There’d definitely been a little bending of the truth there, but Peter didn’t want to be the cause of any conflict within the Avengers. “So, you’re Peter?” He asked. Oh hell. Bruce Banner was making conversation with him. Over lunch.

“Yep,” he said. “Peter Parker, New York’s friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, at your service.” Bruce smiled, and Peter was pretty sure he knew what was coming.

“Spider-Man?” He asked. People always took issue with the obvious name.

“Yeah,” he said. “I know it’s a bit dumb. It’s because of the spider that presumably bit me. I don’t understand the science of it, but I tried to work it out. Can’t really conduct a blood test on myself, though.”

“And he doesn’t want us to have one done,” Tony said, looking slightly pointedly at Peter. “Despite the actual physical effects it’s had on his body.”

“That’s his choice,” Wanda said, chipping in from where she was washing her plate up in the kitchen. “I only let you take mine so I could get into the country. Peter’s already here.”

“I’d have to agree,” Bruce said. “On the virtue of my own experiences with people using my blood for testing…” Peter was reminded of the reports that the US military had decided to take all of Dr. Banner’s test data and his blood and they used it to try and do the same to other people, with various failed results. He’d done a school project on it once.

“Fine, fine,” Tony said. “Don’t go sciencing on your own body without a responsible adult there.”

“That means you can’t do anything then, if a responsible adult is required,” Bucky said, and the sudden offended look on Tony’s face made everyone grin.

“Hush, Barnes,” Tony said. “Peter would science anything if he had the resources and blood tests in a bedroom are not a sterile environment. Which reminds me, Brucey, we have some sciencing to do to catch up on everything we’ve missed.”

“In a bit, I only just got here,” Bruce said. “Give me at least eight hours of sleep. And time to adjust to you inviting a kid to live with super spies. Do people outside of the Avengers know who you are, in relation to the powers thing?”

“Not really,” Peter said. “I have two friends who know, and my aunt knows, but that’s it. But I nearly got kicked out of school because of Spider-Man stuff, so they know something’s up.”

Bruce nodded. “Well, it’s nice to meet you,” he said. Peter was a little worried that, for a moment, he was going to lean over for a handshake, but he didn’t. “This is a shot in the dark, but are you any relation to Richard Parker?”

“He is- Richard Parker was my dad,” he said. He had no idea that anyone knew his dad. He’d never even known that his dad was a noteworthy scientist, at least not now, seeing as he died so long ago.

“Oh!” He said. “Well, Peter, if you ever want to hear about your parents or do some ‘sciencing’ with me, my lab door is figuratively open once I’ve slept for a week.”

Peter could only grin at him, and he could barely hear Tony whining about Bruce abandoning his love for him. Bruce Banner had told him that he could do science stuff with him. Holy shit. This was the best thing ever. He went back up to his room practically skipping. ‘Dude,’ he texted to Ned, ‘Bruce hecking Banner knew my parents and says I can do science with him. Holy shizzle.’


	15. Science!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets a chance to do science with Bruce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O gosh it's been a long time since I've updated this. Rip. Well, here's a little life update for you:  
> When I posted the last chapter I'd just been to interviews at my dream university for my dream course. Then came holidays and I got a massive interest in something else (a game called Xenoblade Chronicles 2) so I wrote loads of stuff for that.  
> On top of that, I then got an offer from my dream uni - but in the UK we then have to meet our grades in the exams the following summer, so I really had to focus on that. But now it's all done and I'm sitting on a three and a half month holiday, so I'm now hoping to update this fairly regularly!

"So can you explain the web thing to me?" Bruce fricking Banner was standing across the tabletop from him, looking at a hovering model of a capsule of his web fluid.

"It's like elastic," he said. "It's liquid in the capsule, but as I release it, it expands, hardens, and forms a flexible chain that sticks to surfaces. It can bear a lot of weight, but I haven't stress tested it in a lab or anything."

"It's a real piece of work," Bruce said, and Peter couldn't help but feel a surge of pride. "And you made it on your own?"

"In school, yeah," Peter said, trying to sound nonchalant about it. "Not this version, obviously. A weaker version that was a lot more volatile. I broke a lot of capsules and got a lot of stuff stuck to books. Mr Stark improved this for me with actual lab quality materials."

"Sounds good," Bruce said. "Have you had a chance to tweak it yourself since, though? Tony's R&D resources may be fantastic but there's nothing like understanding something in terms of using it well in battle."

Peter wanted to ask if that was how Bruce felt about the Hulk, but also that felt like it would be insensitive so he ignored the voice telling him to say that. “I mean I’d like to try, but I’m no expert and I don’t want to waste Mr Stark’s resources.”

“It’s not a waste if you do something productive with it,” Bruce said. “And it’s productive even if you only understand your tools a little better. Perhaps it’s a bit presumptuous of me, but I’m pretty sure Tony has enough money for you to get some experience in tinkering with your own stuff. I’m imagining that when you first got stuff back after Tony got his hands on it, you could barely use it?”

Peter thought back to when he’d first discovered all the things Tony had added to his suit when he upgraded it and then nodded. Bruce only chuckled and nodded, clearly understanding exactly what he meant. “It happens to everyone,” he said. “And I mean everyone. Anyone who’s ever had anything back from Tony has run into problems because it’s different to what they’re used to.”

“Even you?” He asked, hoping that the question wasn’t overstepping a line or anything. To his surprise, though, Bruce nodded.

“Not in the field for Avengers missions, admittedly, but Tony’s always trying to give me stuff so I can actually defend myself when I’m not in the field,” Bruce said. “All his stuff is experimental. It’s very well tested in lab conditions, but using it in real life sometimes results in some very strange things happening.”

Peter sort of desperately wanted to know what these ‘strange things’ were, but from his own experience he could guess that it would be AI saying wild things and things in autopilot jumping all over the place and probably fifty billion settings that he had no idea how Tony had time to code and develop. “And it really happens to everyone?”

“Yes,” Bruce said, probably knowing that Peter was thinking about literal master assassins being tripped up by a stray setting that Tony added to something without telling them. “Which is exactly why it’s important for you to get a chance to tweak this stuff by yourself.”

“I’d love to,” he said with a grin, trying to push his doubts out of his mind. Bruce hecking Banner was giving him the chance to develop sciency stuff with him and had told him not to worry about Tony being precious with the money. It sure would be nice to have so much money that you could let a kid loose in a lab, honestly.

Working out stuff he could do with the webs was really difficult when he didn’t really understand all the stuff Tony had done to them in the first place, but Bruce was really understanding. He showed Peter how to use all the fancy screens that Tony had set up in the labs for simulation and they ran a couple of tests. It was surprisingly easy at first, honestly, at least once he managed to get the hang of it.

Actually working on potentially tweaking things was a lot harder. He understood the compounds and the properties, but he didn’t have all his notes on all the calculations he’d made initially, so it was difficult to work from there on something he actually wanted to tweak. He played around a bit with trying to work the materials out for something that maintained flexibility but had a greater tensile strength, but without access to all his calculations it was too difficult.

After ages of trying to puzzle it out and only making a little progress, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. Almost immediately, Dr Banner came over from what he’d been doing on a countertop a few metres away, standing at a short distance and examining the calculations all over the page. “It looks good,” he said. “Surprisingly neat. You’re trying to work out something new for the chemicals and the strength?”

“Yeah,” he said, shifting in his stool. Having his work examined by someone like Dr Banner was incredibly intimidating. “It’s not working. I have a bunch of notes on it at home, but they’re at home and I’m here, so I basically have to work it all out from scratch again. I did it months ago now.”

“And no way you can get those calculations back?” He asked. Peter shrugged and looked down at the paper. Getting those notes back would be way more hassle than it was worth, especially because he really didn’t want to go back home still. “That can just be a thoughtful question to myself if you want it to be. Or a statement, if that’s better.”

“I don’t mind,” he said quickly. “I live quite a way away normally. So I can’t really make a trip back home, especially because this place is in the middle of nowhere.”

“Your accent is New York, so it can’t be that far away,” Bruce said, but he was also smiling in a sort of understanding way. “I just flew in from New Zealand. Now that’s far away from any stuff I left here. And I did pretty much just take off on a whim because I felt like it.”

Something about that statement encouraged Peter. Maybe he wasn’t the only person struggling with staying in one spot, one life. “Why did you decide to come back?” He asked.

“I can find places I’m needed just about anywhere,” Bruce said. “I’d be willing to bet that every country in the world has at least one area where they could do with another doctor. But every time I leave, Tony texts me several times a day asking when I’ll be home, if I’m doing okay, and then after a while I decide to come back for a bit. That’s just how it’s been for the last few years.”

“Sounds nice,” Peter said. He thought for a moment about Ned, and how he had left him at school basically on his own. He felt bad, but he couldn’t go back there yet. “It’s sort of complicated.”

“Things always are,” Bruce said. “It’s okay if it’s complicated and you’re not ready. Just make sure you’re keeping all your options in mind. You’re not trapped to one thing or obliged to do anything in particular. I don’t know much about your situation and I’m not going to pry, and sometimes you really do just need a break from how things are going. But it gets very hard to prevent a break from turning into forever if there’s no one to remind you of all your options.”

“Thanks,” he said with a small smile. He felt really nervous, but this hadn’t been too bad. Bruce seemed to get it, at least a little. “It’s my aunt, really. She’s worried about me. But I can’t give all of this up.”

“You could,” he said, “but I get why you wouldn’t want to.” Peter honestly doubted it. “Don’t look at me like that! I live with people who could probably leave stuff alone but don’t. I understand that you feel like you have to help because you have the power to. That’s how I feel about being a doctor, even if it’s not how I feel about this Avengers stuff. But ask any of them about it; it’s important to stay in touch with the other things that matter too. Like- I know it’s only vaguely related, but like your parents.”

“Please tell me,” he said. That probably sounded a bit desperate and demanding, but he really wanted to know. “I mean- if you don’t mind.”

Bruce chuckled. “I was going to tell you,” he said. “Your parents worked in similar stuff, but usually on different projects. Sometimes they worked different hours. But every week they’d take time to spend with each other. They had all the lab supervisors tearing their hair out when they demanded rescheduling so they could spend time with each other, and you, but I don’t think you’d remember it. It was a long time ago now.”

“It was,” he said. But he knew the stories. His uncle used to tell it to him all the time. But it was nice to hear it again, and it was nice to hear it from someone else. “Thanks for saying.”

“It’s no problem, Peter,” Bruce said. “I’m sure you’ve already been told this by several other people, but if you want anything just shout. There’s nothing worse than struggling alone in the dark by yourself.”

Peter could feel himself maybe tearing up a tiny bit. This was quite a lot to handle, honestly. He stared down at the tabletop and smiled. “I- think I’m going to take a break from all these calculations for a bit,” he said, knowing that if he stuck around he might start crying a bit. He had a tendency to get overwhelmed by emotions sometimes and he didn’t want to embarrass himself more than he probably already had.

“Smart man,” Bruce said. “I’ll probably be here later if you feel like coming back in to work on it again.” Peter nodded and left, hoping he hadn’t made such a quick exit that it seemed strange. He was almost all the way back to his room before he realised that Bruce had known his parents when he was a baby; he knew he was trans and hadn’t said even a word.

Peter smiled to himself and maybe cried a few happy tears. He didn’t know what he’d done to earn the company of such an amazing group of people, but he was damn well glad that he’d done it.

**Author's Note:**

> (This is an end note and will appear at the end of the fic, regardless of whether this is in chapter by chapter mode or full fic mode)
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the fic! Don't be afraid to leave a comment if you have a criticism or correction or any words of encouragement, or a question. Particular sticking points: character and canon issues because I've only seen most of the Marvel movies once and may have forgotten things, as well as cultural things (eg mom vs mum, a mistake I made and later corrected) as I'm not American and have never been to America.
> 
> If you want to talk to me on something a little more direct + conversational than AO3 comments, my tumblr is gaymoragladair, you can hit me up any time to talk about this or anything else at all!


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